A Red Cross Message

Perusing Facebook on my iPhone yesterday at the Food Court while enjoying my iced vanilla latte, I stumbled upon sad news. Hubby's step-grandmother died the day before. Since we are in Japan and with the time difference, his mother hadn't been able to contact us yet. So from his brother and sister's status updates on Facebook, I found out about Grandma's death. Finding out those things in a Food Court, a busy crowded Food Court, is not a good thing. I threw on my sunglasses and left as quickly as I could without bursting into tears for all to see.



This is where living overseas really just sucks (sorry that is the most suitable word). I can't just hop on a plane, fly a couple of hours and then be there to support our family. I don't think they warn you about these things when you move overseas. While you might be able to get home, it is a huge ordeal. Brother asked if we were going home for the funeral. I feel terrible. I know our family understands, but I feel so helpless here. This is the same as I when my grandmother died last year.


My first response was to call my in-laws. Well- it was 1 am back home. I waited up until midnight here, 9am there. They were on their way to the mortuary. My father in law sounded so sad, so torn up, it broke my heart. I absolutely love that man. He is Hubby's step-father, but he has never treated my children like step-grandkids, and my kids don't know the difference. My own father and step-father passed away about 5 years ago, so I am grateful for my father in law.


The other reason I called was to get the specifics on where Grandma passed away (name of the hospital for example). My next call was to the Red Cross.

Many people might not know this (or maybe everyone knows this), but the Red Cross will send a message to your service member to notify him and his command/unit, etc, of a family member's death. What they will do is verify the information and then get the message out to wherever the service member may be. They do not send emails, but will relay all information by phone. This is important if a service member is deployed and needs a legitimate reason to go home.




To initiate a Red Cross message, you can call the stateside toll-free number: 877-272-7337. You are going to need your service member’s name, social security number, rank, address, unit's address and name, and any other information such as they are deployed to Iraq, or they are on a ship, etc. Whatever information you have to help them locate your service member is helpful.


Also- find out the name and number of the hospital where the family member passed away, or the name of the doctor and his number- an official person who the Red Cross can contact. I didn't have the number to the mortuary and nursing home, only the names. But as I talked with the Red Cross rep on the phone (via Skype may I add), we both Googled the names to find the phone numbers.


They will ask you if the service member is aware of the death, so they know to specifically state on the message to NOTIFY the member, not just request them to come home. Once they have obtained all the pertinent information, they will give you a case number. Write it down so you can check on the status later on if need be.


Red Cross more than likely has a local office if you are stationed overseas- you can also call them. Since it was midnight, the people here would have to be called in to the office to send a message. Since I have Skype, I figured it was just as easy to call the 24 hour stateside number. If the family member that passed is in a foreign country, for example The Philippines, sometimes you would need to contact their Red Cross people. That is not always the case, but I am sure your local office would tell you if need be.


I hope someone finds this information useful if need be.

Rest in peace Grandma, you are loved and we will miss you dearly.

Something Happy and Something Sad...

So today and actually the past couple of weeks have been filled with highs and lows. Hubby coming home is at the top of the list of good things, that is for sure! Brother swam in his 2nd swim meet and today and he beat his times by 10 and 12 seconds. He made 3rd, 2nd and then 1st places on the heats he swam. I was so proud!! Last time he didn't so so well so I worried how it would go today. Honestly, the last meet he didn't even get upset about coming in last- he just enjoyed himself. That makes me so happy. I had to keep from crying today when he won first place, that was just an awesome moment in time. He didn't even know he came in first.  He walked up to me aftewards and asked, what place did I get?  The look on his face when I told him he was first was just priceless.  I AM SO PROUD!



So today after getting home from the awesome swim meet- I found out via email that Grandma has finally passed away:

Hi Nan,



Mother is gone. About 20 minutes ago. She went peacefully, Aunt and Uncle and I were there with her. We are ok. Please don't be too upset. She had a long and good life.


I love you. MOM

I knew it was coming just talked to my mom yesterday and she told me the end was very near. I know that my grandma is happily reunited with her family once more and I should be glad about that- and I am. But I didn't expect to feel such a hole in my heart as I do now. I haven't told the kids yet because I don't think I can without crying and I don't want to scare them or upset them. I did that to Brother when my dad died and I don't want to do it again.  I still remember how huge his eyes were when I told him his grandpa died and I was sobbing and crying.  He was so worried about me, and he was only 5 years old, poor little guy.
So I am going to "cowgirl up" so to speak.  I will focus on the good memories of my sweet grandma and remember all that she has taught me.  When I look at my thumbs I will be reminded that she is a part of me.  If you don't know what I mean by that- read my post from a couple of weeks ago.  I will keep her memory alive and tell my children and someday grandchildren about the best grandma a person could have.

Rest in Peace Grandma. 

 You are truly missed, the world will not be the same without you.

 Thankgiving 1991.  Grandma posing with her feast she had prepared for us...

Early Thanksgiving Special (A Tribute to my Grandma)

I've been having my own little pity party lately- as you will probably notice from my recent posts.  I could go on with the FML moments, but I thought I would change it up a bit.  Thanksgiving is next week- it is the time to think about what we are thankful for, right?

Whenever I think of Thanksgiving I immediately think of my sweet grandma.  Growing up we always had her over for Thanksgiving.  We also shared our birthday celebrations together.  Her birthday is the day after mine, and every so many years one of our birthdays will fall on Thanksgiving.
I can't lie, many times I resented her being there at every birthday party.  She always liked to watch my friends and myself- see what we were up to.  As she got older her watching turned into open mouth gaping.  Oh Grandma!  Of course I miss all of that now.  She loved me most of all out of all of her grandchildren.  (I hope my cousins don't read my blog.)  It is a fact, we spent the most time together.  She taught me to sew and crochet.  She taught me how to iron and how to make biscuits. 

That's me with my Grandma and Grandpa in 1975.  I have a dirty look on my face because I hated that dog- Jo-Jo.  He was the meanest ball of teeth and fur that walked the Earth.  He tortured me until I was about 10 when he finally died of old age (he was like 17 years old I think.)  I remember that little guitar in my hands fondly.  Maybe I should have whacked the dog with it- show him who was boss!

Grandma made the best chicken and dumplings on the planet.  And iced tea, oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, bread.. I could go on.  Her pride and joy was her Thanksgiving dressing.  She started on it the night before.  It wasn't anything fancy- homemade cornbread and Stove Top Stuffing mix.  But it was out of this world- I think it was all the love she baked into it.  Did I mention her pies?  My mouth is watering, thinking back to those pies.  I know I have pictures of some our Thanksgiving feasts- my mom always took a picture of the table before we all dug in.  I need to find them, they have so much more meaning to me now.

Next week will be her 97th birthday on Thanksgiving Day.  She was born in 1912- I wish I could see history through her eyes.  This may very well be her last birthday.  I am sad we will not be able to spend it together like old times.  I will try calling her, but honestly I don't think she will know who I am.  She was one of 7 children and the only one left.  She nursed two of her brothers and her only sister on their deathbeds.  After her last sibling passed- about 4 years ago- she started to let go.  I really think she made it that far- just so she could take care of them.  Now she lives with my mom and is in hospice care.  My mom said she talks to her father all of the time and thinks I am still a baby.  She gets confused when my mom tries to explain that I am all grown up now- so when asked "where is the baby"- mom just tells her I am sleeping.

She is a tough lady.  She told my mom that she wants to make it to 100 so the guy on the Today show will announce her birthday.  I wouldn't be surprised if she does.  The doctors will probably say no, but we are not sure what to expect.  She survived breast cancer and a masectomy at 75.  She laughed about getting her "boob" cut off.  We were all just amazed. 

San Diego- going to lunch at Mission Beach 1993

Not only did she pass on her love of sewing to me, but she gave me her thumbs as well.  I have the same squat fat thumbs as she has.  Kids used to tease me, ask if I sucked my thumbs.  That never bothered me- I was proud to have my grandma's thumbs (no one else in the family inherited them.)  My children didn't get them, but maybe some day I'll have a grandchild that will get them.

To sum it up I am grateful to have known such a wonderful woman and to have known her endless love.  I am grateful to remember catching her snooping in my shopping bags to find her birthday present I bought her.  I am grateful she dragged me to church in my great aunt's Charger with the vinyl seats in the 115 degree weather- and go eat at Bob's Big Boy afterwards.  I am grateful she taught me what it means to take pride in one's work.  I am grateful she always took my side when my mom got mad at me- no matter if I was wrong or not.  I am grateful I took my children to see her and spend time with her (Sister referred to her as "my old grandma who lives in the desert.")  I am grateful I have her thumbs so I will always have them to remind me of her.

I hope one day I can be as great a Grandmother as she is.  Happy Birthday Grandma! I love you!