It's Wednesday! (random nothingness)

It's Wednesday, but I really wish it was Friday.  This is one long week for some reason.  If you are stateside- then it is still Tuesday- my apologies.


I always say I am half-Catholic.  I say that because my dad's side of the family is Catholic (my dad used to tell me how he was an altar boy back when they held Mass in Latin), my step-dad was Catholic, and my mother and I attempted to become Catholics.  I attempted because I went to CCD as a teenager (I was quite lost not knowing all the prayers for the rosary), and my mother met weekly with the monsignor of the church for her Catholic education.  However, she could not become Catholic because she was "living in sin".  She was "living in sin" because her marriage had not been blessed (?) by the Catholic church.  Her marriage was not blessed by the Catholic church because my step-father was "living in sin".  My step-father was "living in sin" because he was still "married" to his ex-wife, in the eyes of the church.  In order to not be "married" to his ex- they had to go through some process that would require him to contact his ex.  He did not wish to contact his ex because she had finally stopped harassing our family- probably because she didn't know where we had moved to.  I never became Catholic because I thought they would find some reason I couldn't be Catholic either. Therefore I never went to talk to the monsignor as I was directed to do, if I wanted to go through the process.  So that is why I am only half-Catholic, it's by blood and circumstances.  


Now it is Lent and I was thinking of something my half-Catholic self could give up.  But obviously I am not a true Catholic because I couldn't think of anything that was an actual sacrifice- only random silly things, like:


1. crack 
2. bunjee jumping
3. body piercing
4. cigarettes
5. roller skating
6. hitch-hiking
7. liver
8. pole dancing
9. cannibalism
10. soap operas


Seriously, I applaud those who give up their true vices- like sugar and soda- or chocolate!  They are better people than I.


On a totally unrelated note- I found something a couple of weeks ago that I thought had been lost forever!  It was the CD with all of our digital pictures of my kids when they were really small.  Not only did I find one CD, but two copies!  I was practically in tears when I saw that the CD was actually readable (I had found a different CD months back- but it was damaged and it wouldn't read.)  I must have spent at least an hour looking through all of the pictures.  When hubby came home, I did the same thing all over again, except this time looking over his shoulder as he went through the picture files.  This picture now graces his wallpaper on the PC monitor:

Brother enjoying a popcicle in our backyard- back when we were stationed at Ft. Huachuca, AZ, circa 2000.

He wasn't even two yet here.  I love this expression, it makes my heart all melty and nostalgic and sad that he is growing up so fast!  He will be 13 this year. 13!  Like I said, we were so happy and relieved that these pictures had not been lost to this world!  I promptly copied them to our external hard drive.  Where is another good place to back up all of our pictures I wonder?


On another unrelated note- I am down 7 pounds!!  It is not all due to Crossfit- I had lost 5 before I started last week.  But I have definitely noticed a huge difference already since I started working out last week.  I have had 4 workouts and I feel so much stronger already.  I am sold, hook-line-and-sinker. 


Stay tuned for more random thoughts and adventures.. or not. *wink wink*

Cheers!

Happy Halloween

While Hubby couldn't be here, we still had a pretty ok Halloween.  This year I was well prepared with oodles of candy.  Last year I ran out in one hour, I was so not expecting that many trick or treaters!!

I asked- and you said you would like to see my sewing projects, so here you go.  I made Sissy and her BFF matching costumes.  Well- I made them skirts.  They were super easy and super fun.  At times it is good to do a simple and fun project.  There is something to be said for enjoying the completion of a project.  Am I right?

I was inspired by the tail and ears that we found in a Japanese department store.  The little witche's hat is too cute.

I made the fur piece as a belt- but with the sweater (needed to keep warm), we decided to tie it around her shoulders instead.

Sissy's skirt was orange and black, and her BFF's skirt was purple and black.  I originally planned on doing two different fabrics with the same colors.  But Jaime and I saw the polka dots and I knew they were "it"!
The fur pieces were made from a boa I cut up and sewed ribbons to.  I didn't get a very picture of the girls together unfortunately.  I should have taken a moment and made them step inside where the light was better...



And Brother...  Well he is past the point where he will let me make costumes for him.  I tried to order something for him, but he wasn't inspired enough to tell me what to order.  Today he just grabbed some black capes out of our costume trunk (ie an orange Rubbermaid tote).  He asked me to make him look like a vampire.  I don't have any costume make-up, so I grabbed some powder and black eyeshadow and eyeliner.  I added a little green under his eyes as well.  It wasn't too bad for not having the right tools!

Tonight he cracked me up.  He totally got into "character" and made our front porch into our own haunted house of sorts.

want some candy?

He thought of this all on his own.  The Japanese visitors were so freaked out!  He scared a few people by suddenly opening his eyes and sitting up.  I think next year we will get him a job at the haunted house! ha ha

These guys were taking all kinds of pictures, at first they weren't sure he was real.

Braaaaiiiiins!!  Not to be outdone by the vampire get-up,
Brother discovered that the make-up I put on him doubles as zombie make-up!!

I think next year we are all going as zombies.  We have the walk down and everything!

Hoping you have a wonderful and sweet-filled Halloween!!

help.me.please?

What did I get myself into?  Brother is having his birthday sleep-over tonight.  He has only two friends over, but that is two too many boys in my house.  How do people do it that have more than one boy?  I know, I am being silly and I would love to have more than one boy.  (I'll keep telling myself that anyway.)  Not that it matters, the baby factory is closed.  Forever.

Stupid typhoon prevented Dad from being here for it.  Stupid typhoon put trick or treating on hold and ruined all kinds of fun.  Actually, the stupid typhoon isn't really all that bad either.  But 'just in case' everything has been cancelled.  But not our sleep-over.  Yay me!

Now there are three 11 and 12 year old boys running around the house, sounding like they are breaking everything in sight.  My son?  He has lost all of his "mom" hearing.  All of the sudden, I no longer exist. *sigh*

I'll be good, I will smile and enjoy his fun.  This night is about him.  I just need to survive, and then I can look back and shudder smile.

Right????????

Help me!

My Baby is 12- a late night pondering

I tried to go to sleep, I really did.  But I feel too out of sorts to do so.  So instead I am up making cupcakes for my son who just turned 12 according to Tokyo time.  I want to say I can't believe he is 12, but that wouldn't be honest.  I recognize that 12 year old/pre-teen/goshdarnjustaboutateenager behavior.  I remember being twelve, it wasn't THAT long ago (almost 25 years to date- I still remember ok?) 

At night, he is still my little boy- wanting my love and attention.  During the day- his friends are around and he couldn't care and probably prefers me to be elsewhere.  We fight.  We fight all of the time.  It sucks and I cry from time to time (but not in front of him.) 


So yeah, he is 12.  He looks like he is 12 and he acts like he is twelve.  I 'know' this, but my heart doesn't want to accept it.  I am so sad and worried and scared.  I am sad because I miss his little chubby baby cheeks and how he would lay his head on my shoulder when he was sleepy.  I am worried and scared because I doubt my ability to help him to succeed in life.  I feel like I have failed him in so many ways.  I know- I am not the only parent to feel this way.  Regardless of what people say- I still feel responsible for the issues we have had to face with him.  I just know I could have done this better.  Regret is a nasty bedfellow, isn't it?  I just need to move forward.  He is a wonderful boy.  I know that.  I don't think he does though.  And that is what I need to change. 

Back in August at the Monkey Park

Cupcakes are out of the oven, I am going to try to get some sleep now...

Tired of being the "bad guy"

I want my mommy!  I want my husband!  I want a spa day! 

I think the third one I might be able to do- at least a pedicure? 

I have had an amazing/exhausting/frustrating week.  I am surprised I am still able to sit upright and type.  Why you ask?...

Amazing- I got to meet and work with some awesome Navy wives through Compass this week.  While I did do some teaching and feel like the participants learned something from me- I learned so much from them and the other Compass Mentors.  If you are a Navy wife and haven't done the course yet- DO IT!!  (and I say this in hopes you have a Compass team at your duty station.)

Exhausting- Compass, school, errands, Compass, school, errands, kids, kids, kids, kids (get it?)

Frustrating- I hate being the bad guy all of the time.  I feel like I am still at the same place with Brother.  I thought there was an improvement way back when with school.  It feels like 2 steps forward and 1.999 steps back.  We still have the same issues with school, only now he is pre-pubescent.  And as you can imagine [insert sarcastic tone here]- that is just a whole lot of FUN! 

He IS a good kid.  He doesn't get into trouble at school, doesn't fight, doesn't swear in front of adults (as I have seen other kids his age do.)  He is generally is a good and respectful child.  But getting him to care just a little about doing his work, completing his work, and the quality of his work- that is like trying to push a Mac Truck up a hill in San Fransisco.  He pushes back when I push him- and he pushes hard (not literally, mind you.)

I feel for him, he has a lot going on.  His hormones are starting to act up, he is growing like crazy (so he is having growing pains), and his dad is deployed.  It is an emotional rollercoaster- one that I am not handling so well. 

The other frustrating part is that I can't share this with Hubby.  He is deployed and needs to be able to focus on his job.  If he knew how frustrated Brother and I are right now- he would then be worried over something he can't do anything about right now.  And if he is worried about home, then he can't have that focus he needs.

I have seen other milspouses discuss what should and shouldn't be shared when our service member is deployed.  It is really hard when your spouse is the one you usually share everything with.  I do share certain things- and he knows these are things that I can handle (and I usually can.)  But the whole getting homework done and helping with studying for the spelling test.  Well- he can't do that where he is at. 

Back to the topic- I am just tired of being the bad guy.  I am so ready for Hubsie to come home and take over!  Well- the control freak in me doesn't really want him to completely take over.  But you know what I mean!

Thanks for listening, I feel better now...

Off With Their Heads! (warning- the following post is a long rant)

I raised a stink today.  That is something I rarely do.  I may bitch and moan to friends, but I have a tendency to not look for confrontations.  Well today I looked for one and found one.

The gist of the long story is this:
The vaccine clinic corpsman at Medical DID NOT record Brother's shots.  It is not on the medical record and not in the computer.  It is not on his personal shot card because it was lost at our overseas screening  some time ago.  Then the corpsman tried to tell me I was wrong, or that I was perhaps lying about  the fact that my son DID get his two required 11 year old shots.  Little punk- he thought I was stupid and could give me a run around.  Oh how I wish Hubby had been there with me! In fact, I saw someone that looked like Hubby from behind, and for a second I thought it might be him. *sigh*  No- he is on a ship out in the middle of the big blue ocean.

At first when I tried to get the error corrected, he (the corpsman) wouldn't even come out to talk to me in person.  He kept sending the poor E-2 girl at the front desk to talk to me.  Finally I asked to speak to him.  He was the one who GAVE my son his shots- in fact he did a poor job of re-assuring my son (who is scared to death of needles), while trying to give the shots.  He claimed he WOULD have recorded any shots given.  There was NO way he would have NOT recorded it.  Really?  Is that why the other shots that were given to both my kids were still missing from the medical records (luckily they were in the computer though.)  After he could offer me no solution and it became obvious he hoped I would just back down, I asked to speak to his Chief.

Although the Chief apologized to me, tried to re-assure me that the corpsman know their job well, and had the vaccine nurse dig deeper to see if they could find something, Brother still has to get his shots for the 2nd time.  The nurse is a really sweet Japanese woman, and she knew how upset I was (I was on the verge of tears by then.)  She agreed to give Brother his shots this time around.  Not only do I want her to do it because I think she will be able to calm my son down (seriously- he HATES needles), but I will not let that damn imcompentent corpsman touch my children ever again. 

I know I am not the first, and I do take responsibility for not having had a new shot card made out.  This was a hard lesson to learn- and I will pay for it when I have to tell Brother about the shots he has to get in a couple of days.  Oh I will pay, emotionally and perhaps financially because I suspect I will have to bribe him to get him into the medical clinic door.  I PROMISED him he would not have to get any more shots this year.  Second time I have let him down in a week's time.  I FEEL TERRIBLE.

The nurse did say we could get an MD to sign off saying he is exempt from the shots.  But I know that will not help in the long run as eventually someone else will require it regardless.  Besides the fact I don't know if an MD would agree to that anyway.

So in two days I head back with Brother, I am so dreading it.  Know what I would like to do when we get there?  Find the punk ass corpsman and have him explain to Brother WHY he has to get the shots all over again.  Do you think he will even feel bad about it?  Probably not- but he would probably be embarassed- that's good enough for me.  I still wish Hubby had been there today to tear him a new one though.

ICE ICE Baby...

*(For my civilian readers- ICE comments are  "how are we doing?" cards for us military folks, you either complain, or give praise.  It then goes to the Base Captain to read.)

If you have read down this far- thank you for listening to me rant.  I feel better now.

PUNK!

Help me, I am over reacting to something I should be above over reacting to.  It has to do with an 11 year old kid and his co-horts.  Lately it seems these kids have just become meaner than normal.  I give them slack because they are Navy kids, and I understand the stress of being a military child and dealing with deployments and such.

Realizing I am over reacting, I wonder what kind of reaction I SHOULD have?  A few pre-teen neighborhood kids (and therefore schoomates of my children) have caught my attention with their bullying, foul language, disrespect and littering around the area.  I am at the point where I want to start visiting some parents.  One of the bully's, whom I suspect has been picking on Sissy and her BFF, has started picking on Brother again.  This was an issue we had at the start of school- a problem I thought had resolved itself.  I think the truth is that Brother has learned to ignore him for the most part.  Recently Brother has started to complain about being bullied again.  Sissy came and got me one day to tell me that said Bully was picking on her and her BFF.  As it turns out, it looked like Sissy was stirring up trouble that day.  I still had a talk with the boy- in a friendly yet authoritive manner.  I suspected he had picked on the girls in the past- the fact that he and his co-horts wouldn't make eye contact made that evident.


This week the bully has been picking on Brother because of the rash that Brother has on his face (doc thinks he had some kind of allergic reaction to something.)  Then today Brother tells me that this kid told him that I am "ugly" and a "bitch".  I told Brother that I don't care, which I don't.  But in a way- I do.  What is wrong with me- why does this kid chap my hide.  Why does the other neighborhood kid who is always cussing make my hand itch and want to track down his mama?  Why do I wish that it be ok for Brother to knock the kid who is bullying him, on his @ss?

Brother needs to learn how to deal with this- and I definitely will not help by fighting his fights for him.  It just brings out the protective mama bear in me.  The fact is I need to stay out of the kids' affairs and not get caught up in the drama.  I don't get caught up in "adult" drama, why get into the kids'?

But.

I WILL say something to any older kid that picks on Sissy or her BFF.  I WILL seek out their mother if need be.  I WILL say something to the child who swears in my presense.

I WILL calm down

Eventually...

Have you ever dealt with bullies?  What did you do?

Seriously?

Last fall I was writing about my troubles with Brother and his problems at school.  It was especially hard that Hubby was gone- mainly because said husband would look up the grades online and then proceed to email me commands on what I needed to do.  He was very frustrated and thus I was frustrated, and at times- insulted.  Since then Brother was able to improve his grades.

Fast forward to today.  Hubby just left and hello!- he gets a nice little email from the grades website that Brothers grade in Math was dropped to 56%.  So then he forwards it to me with the note "I need to stop getting these. Hopefully he gets his grades up before the end of the year." 

It's deja vu and not the good kind.  So now I have that awful feeling of stress in my gut and I can't shake it.  To make it worse- I got an email from his teacher letting me know that Brother " has not been coming to class prepared for weeks. He never seems to have a pencil and is not focused on completing his work."  It goes on from there.  I just want to cry now.  I need a plan of action and fast.  School will be out for the day here in a little bit and I need to have my speech ready (ie- "you're grounded.")  The second thing I am going to do is delete Hubby's email so he doesn't get the grade reminders.  Then I will tell him he is not allowed to look at the grades since he can't do anything from where he is it. 

Did I mention that I feel the need to cry?

Sleep is the answer

Sissy once had an accident at our local Home Depot.  She was running towards her Dad, who was pushing the shopping cart.  We all thought she knew it was directly in front of her and expected her to stop.  But I think something caught her eye and the next thing we knew- whack!  She smacked right into the cart.  At first our impulse was to laugh, because this was a "typical" accident of her- at least it appeared like it.  But when she was completely silent we knew she was sucking in all the air she could for the screaming that was to come from her poor mouth.  Hubby grabbed her and went straight for the bathroom.  I knew she hit her mouth, I knew there was blood.  When Brother and I caught up to him, his shirt was covered in blood and so was her face.  I looked in her mouth- her front teeth had been pushed back.  I tried to pull one back, and Sissy gave such a painful shudder that I immediately let go.   We cleaned her up- declined the offer to submit an accident report to Home Depot- mainly because it wasn't their fault.

We took her to the ER and waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  By the time we got her in to see a doc, she had fallen asleep.  So in his very bad bedside manner way- the doc says we need to get her to a dentist.  And he tells us it "must not be that painful since she fell asleep." 

I should have cussed him for being an a-hole told him that I was worried that she may have had other injuries to her face or jaw.  I should have told him he is an idiot.  Sleep is a natural defense when we are in pain (at least for some people).  Not to mention we had waited a good long while AND it was her bedtime.


That was almost 5 years ago.  I thought of that story because right now all I want to do is sleep.  I realized a couple of years ago that sleep is a coping mechanism of mine.  The first time Hubby deployed, we had only been married for 6 months.  We had just moved to NAS Whidbey Island earlier that summer (where I knew no one).  AND my best friend had been killed in a car accident the month prior.  I dropped him off at the terminal early in the morning.  After that I drove home and slept.  I was supposed to go to work that morning, but I slept in and went in late.  I have felt the urge to sleep whenevr Hubby deploys, or when something sad has happened- such as when my father passed away- I took the kids to my neighbor so I could handle some details.  I made flight arrangements, and then took a long nap.

Today all I wanted to do is sleep.  I had to fight the urge and make myself get up and get things done.  Realizing the urge to sleep- it became clear to me that Hubby's deployment is affecting me more than I realized.  This is deployment #5 for us.  That does not include all of the detachments, training, what have you. 

It is a natural reaction to want to just hole myself up- not see the world for a while.  But I did that when we got here after a stressful move, I don't want to do that again.  I am going to fight the urge for now.  I am looking on the bright side- we have already been together longer this year than we were all of last year (we were together 3 out of 12 months.) 

Last year was bad.  When we dropped him at the airport for his flight to Japan, the kids cried like I have never heard them cry before.  It was the most heartbreaking sound I have ever heard.  I did not let myself cry then.  But that night, I woke up around midnight and started to sob. 

Yesterday was the longest day ever.  Someone described it as a band aid that just needed to be pulled off- I agreed.  We tried to drag out the last moments together- but those moments were stressfull and too rigid- trying to anticipate the loss.  Finally last night we dropped off Hubby and said goodbye (see you later).  He was crying, he didn't want to leave us.  Brother and I didn't cry.  But when we drove away, Sissy started to bawl.  I hated to hear it.  My stomach was just a big ball of hurt.  I was worried, and I think holding in the tears wasn't helping.  Luckily, both of the kids fell asleep easily last night- I was afraid they would be up all night with bad dreams or just worrying about Daddy being gone.  But they slept soundly, thank goodness.

I think sleep is a comfort to them as well.

Emotional Rollercoaster

Our household is in total upheaval.  We are getting ready for Hubby to leave us again for who knows how long.  The kids are not happy about it, I am not even sure HOW I feel right now, and Hubby- well, he is extremely stressed out and worn down.

Okay here is the truth.  Last month I was angry with Him- as in my husband.  It is a classic tale of a wife feeling like she does everything and feels resentful- while the husband doesn't understand what the fuss is all about.  He just knows she is storming around the house and not talking to him.  That is- when he is aware of her presense whilst playing World of Warcrap.  (I hate that and every other MMG out there.)
Knowing that in the future he would be leaving again- I wanted to have some help with household chores since once he leaves- it's all on me. 

I am NO angel by any means.  But I was upfront about it- clearly indicating what needed to be done and asking nicely.  What I got back was hostility or a promise to do it later.  And we all know how that ends.  Eventually I became tired of waiting and asking and just got angry.  That's my side of the story. 

Let me tell you I am the type of person that tries to look at situations from both sides.  The checker who was rude to me maybe was having a bad day or not feeling well.  The school secretary who never smiles (true story) maybe is physically unable to move her mouth into said facial expression (but I think I saw her smile once- so there goes that theory.) 

So I tried to be patient- knowing that he had a lot on his plate at work.  But even then- I was still mad.  If I am having a hard time at work- working overtime or what have you- I STILL take care of all the household matters.  So while I was not talking and being angry in my passive-aggressive manner- I did not nag once!  So there!  To top it all off- I felt like if Hubby were to leave right there and then- life would be easier for me. 

Truly- I am not writing this to bitch about my husband- only to explain my "emotional rollercoaster."

Moving ahead- I regained my patience once I realized being mad wasn't helping and plus I have a hard time holding a grudge (yes I tried to- shame on me.)  Add a pending seperation and my anger completely disolved.  Now I am running errands- taking care of things he needs as he is working 12+ hour days.

Enter the children.  Sissy is crying over everything.  I think some of it is her age- but I know a big part of it is the fact her Daddy is leaving.  Brother has his ups and downs as well.  We all are strung tight, being snappy and dealing with aching stomachs. 

I have been a Navy wife well over 14 years- a little separation is no big deal I was thinking.  In fact- I had been worrying about what we will do when the day comes that Hubby is no longer in the service.  He would be HOME ALL THE TIME!  Damn- I sound like a cold hearted bitch.  Imagine my shock when I started crying when it hit me that he is really leaving.

Thus my emotional rollercoaster.  Sometimes I am sad and weepy, other times I am optimistic- making plans and thinking of things to keep us busy.  And I have been a complete air head!  I tried putting the car in gear without stepping on the break and thought my car was broken.  I almost ran a red light right in front a Japanese squad car (my passengers stopped me luckily.)  I have stubbed my toes on every possible corner in the house and even tripped on the stairs, breaking my big toe nail all the way down one one side.  Ouch!  I am forgetting words and sometimes I forget what I am doing and walk around the house aimlessly.  It is so frustrating!  So now I am making a special effort to be wary of my actions- for example basic walking.  I am also trying to be extra patient with my children and not let them see my frustration and stress.  After all- if they see Mom is not dealing- then it must be bad, right?

I am dreading "D" Day.  For now I will keep busy.  Needing something to do- I have been cleaning and cleaning some more (which is normally not my fave activity.)  When the day comes, I must be strong and not break down when the children cry when we say our goodbyes.  It's choking me up just thinking about it... 

Hubby's boss told me yesterday that in his family- they never say goodbye.  They always say- "I will see you later."  I didn't really get it until just now.  I think that is a practice we will put to good use.

Friday update

My day started off waaay too early.  Brother has been sick since Wednesday night.  I thought he was getting better- but last night/this morning proved otherwise.  There is nothing like the fear that strikes a parent's heart when 103.2 registers on the thermometer- especially at 2 in the morning.  Poor guy was just delirious- as a high fever will make one feel.  I remember feeling that way as a kid- it is quite scary.
I usually get up with Hubby in the morning and make coffee for him (because I am nice like that.)  This morning I had just gone back to bed when he got up- so no coffee for him today. 
I did have to drag myself back out of bed to make Sissy's lunch and get her off to school.  I made some coffee for me then- I desperately needed it.  The coffee pot beeps at me to tell me the coffee is ready.  I greedily pour myself a cup.  Hold on- why does the coffee look so watery?  #$#$%# it!!  I forgot to put fresh coffee grounds in the coffee maker- I only poured in water.  (And no- I am not diligent enough to clean my coffee maker out every day after I am done drinking coffee- that is reserved for the next morning.  Sorry- that is just how I roll.)
I did finally get my coffee made properly.  So now we are waiting for the time to leave for Medical (military/Navy term for the Medical Clinic.)  I am not sure what his temp is now- the thermometer died.  I have like three dead thermometers in the house now- this last one only lasted a few months.  grrrr

Did I mention I am getting braver and more comfortable about driving on Japanese roads now?  I finally braved a new section of town and finally found the mall!  Right next door is Viva Home- a Japanese version of Home Depot.  One could spend hours in there perusing all the cool Japanese gadgets.
Anyway I am pumped to get out and explore more.  There is a bigger mall I have been to by train- but I am going to try driver there next time.  My iPhone has a Maps app on it so if I get lost I can punch in "Home" and it will tell me how to get back home.  Very handy that is.  I can't read all of the kanji writing- but I can tell if I am on the right path or not.

We are eagerly awaiting for the magazine that Sissy posed for to come out.  We looked it up on the web and found it out it is due to be on the newstands on the 26th.  In the meantime she may have a couple of more jobs lined up.  She could have had a job today- but she has a slumber party to go to and I didn't want to stress out about getting back in time.  It is a good thing since Brother is sick and I would have had to cancel anyway.

Happy Friday.  I will sign off with this little number.  If you are a Navy wife you may have seen this already.  It is one my fave YouTube videos.  And before you say- "hey- shouldn't they be working instead of making videos?"  Let me point out that when they are underway/deployed- they work 12 on and 12 off every day.  No weekends off and no overtime pay (though they do get Sea Pay- but overtime pay would be much much more!)  I see this as a great way to let off some steam and it is a great "team-building" exercise as my Hubby would call it!




Oh- I learned something today- how to embed a video from YouTube- I am moving up in the world! ;-)

You ripped my picture

My kids love to draw, we have paper and markers and crayons all over the house.  Lately they have been drawing "Pokemon" characters (Pocket Monsters). 

It is Pokemonmania here.  This is a by-product of living in Japan of course.  We have even visited the Pokemon Center in Yokohama.  It was all crazyness with people everywhere and someone talking on the loudspeaker- didn't understand a word they said.  I admit, some of the little guys are pretty cute- my favorite is the monkey name Chimchar.  At the commissary they sell a lot of Japanese baked goods (because lets face it- bread coming from the states is not very fresh.)  They have these little sweet rolls that come in Pokemon packaging.  The kids love them because there are stickers inside.  You want to see a fight- watch one try to take the other's sticker!  Like I said- its Pokemonmania around here.

Last weekend Sister spent a good deal of time coloring her pictures- one she was especially proud of.  This time, instead of Pokemon- she was working on her Littlest Pet Shop animals (those with little girls know what they are).  After coloring we ran to the store for a few things, leaving Brother at home.  When we came back to the house there was a note left for me saying he went to his friends house.  Ok, no big deal. 
He came home an hour or two later and next thing I know the kids are fighting (not unusual these days.)  Sister comes to me with her picture- it has been ripped!  She accused her brother- he denies all wrongdoing and then goes back out to play.

A little bit later- Sister notices the note Brother left me.  It is small piece of paper that was torn from a larger piece of paper- namely her artwork.  She was livid!  When he came back home he was made to apologize- but it wasn't sincere.  I knew it, she knew it. Eventually she managed to move on and created some more masterpieces.

Later that night after the kids were in bed I saw something that made me bust up laughing.  In the same spot where Brother had left me the note on the stolen paper- was another piece of paper.  It read:
[Brother] you riped my pitcher

I love it.  The woman in her would just not let her let it go!  I love that little girl!

Something Happy and Something Sad...

So today and actually the past couple of weeks have been filled with highs and lows. Hubby coming home is at the top of the list of good things, that is for sure! Brother swam in his 2nd swim meet and today and he beat his times by 10 and 12 seconds. He made 3rd, 2nd and then 1st places on the heats he swam. I was so proud!! Last time he didn't so so well so I worried how it would go today. Honestly, the last meet he didn't even get upset about coming in last- he just enjoyed himself. That makes me so happy. I had to keep from crying today when he won first place, that was just an awesome moment in time. He didn't even know he came in first.  He walked up to me aftewards and asked, what place did I get?  The look on his face when I told him he was first was just priceless.  I AM SO PROUD!



So today after getting home from the awesome swim meet- I found out via email that Grandma has finally passed away:

Hi Nan,



Mother is gone. About 20 minutes ago. She went peacefully, Aunt and Uncle and I were there with her. We are ok. Please don't be too upset. She had a long and good life.


I love you. MOM

I knew it was coming just talked to my mom yesterday and she told me the end was very near. I know that my grandma is happily reunited with her family once more and I should be glad about that- and I am. But I didn't expect to feel such a hole in my heart as I do now. I haven't told the kids yet because I don't think I can without crying and I don't want to scare them or upset them. I did that to Brother when my dad died and I don't want to do it again.  I still remember how huge his eyes were when I told him his grandpa died and I was sobbing and crying.  He was so worried about me, and he was only 5 years old, poor little guy.
So I am going to "cowgirl up" so to speak.  I will focus on the good memories of my sweet grandma and remember all that she has taught me.  When I look at my thumbs I will be reminded that she is a part of me.  If you don't know what I mean by that- read my post from a couple of weeks ago.  I will keep her memory alive and tell my children and someday grandchildren about the best grandma a person could have.

Rest in Peace Grandma. 

 You are truly missed, the world will not be the same without you.

 Thankgiving 1991.  Grandma posing with her feast she had prepared for us...

Why I Locked Myself in the Bathroom (or Why Too Many Days off from School and Video Games are Bad)

Dude! I need a break. The kids have only been to school for 4.5 days in these past two weeks. Nearly 2/3 of these students have single parents at home because their other parent is deployed. Are they trying to kill us? The summer is one thing- but when the weather is cold and they need to stay indoors because of the torrential downpour- well- that makes for children climbing walls and their mothers pulling out their own hair.

I thought I would be nice and let them play video games (they are very limited on their playing time these days). That only makes things worse. Video games makes crazy kids, I am not kidding. Actually if I did some research I am sure I could find studies to back up my claim.

I'll spare you any more details except to say that after dinner I ended up running upstairs- into my bedroom- locked my door- into the bathroom- closed the door- into the comode/shower room- closed the door- put the toilet lid down and sat down with my head in my hands and let the tears come.

That helped a little.  Right now Sister and Brother are upstairs jumping and screaming- it sounds like they breaking down the walls. Granted-everything sounds much worse from downstairs. Still- it is NOT helping my headache.

I love my children and can't imagine life without them. I feel bad about complaining and venting- I am grateful they are happy and healthy and I know things could always be worse. But...

I can't wait until bed time.

No School Today

So I've been a bad girl- was posting regularly and then dropped out for a week.  I just couldn't think of what to write about.  Would you call that a blogger's block?  I know that is corny. 

It's Friday and the kids have been out of school since yesterday.  They return on Monday only to get out early on Tuesday and then do not go back until the following week.  The teachers are still there- I see their cars lined up outside.  I know Brother's teachers are busy recording all of his Fs on his report card.  Maybe not all Fs, but there are way too many.  One F is too many in my book (and I am sure in most everyone else's).   It is beyond frustrating.  I know Brother has to be the one to do it- I can't go to school for him.  But I really feel that the teachers are not doing their job.  They have all of the 5th and 6th graders combined.  All of them.  They also have a strict policy of no late homework.  If it is not turned in on time, they get a 0.  No ifs, ands or buts.  I understand they are trying to prepare the students for junior high and that is great.  However, in my eye they are setting up the children for failure.  I know for a fact my son is not the only one to miss homework assignments.  What does that mean for the child who doesn't understand the assignment and is too frustrated to complete it?  No homework?  You lose!  We were up until 10pm the other night finishing Brother's homework- mainly his math homework.  I checked his work and helped him with the problems he did not get right.  He received a 10 (as in 10 points out of 100).  WTF??  I thought homework was supposed to be practice, not a test?  Hubby doesn't understand why I don't agree with grading homework.  I think he should get credit for completing it.  If it is obvious he just guessed at the answers then of course he shouldn't get credit for it.

So I emailed his math teacher and asked if she would be there at Brother's parent-teacher conference.  When she replied she asked if I wanted to have Brother tested so he can get into the math assistance program.  What??  I just talked to her two weeks prior asking if there was any kind of tutoring available for him and she said she didn't know of anything.  I forwarded the email to Hubby- I was fuming.  I will cut her some slack as she was not here at the beginning of the year (she was on maternity leave)- and the substitute did not follow her teaching plan at all.  However, if I tell her from day one that Brother is having problems she should have found out then what could be done.  She gave him an A- for science at least- I should be grateful for that.

Brother does not like school.  Aren't teachers supposed to inspire the children?  Are they too caught up in trying to just get the kids all the be quiet and do their work that they forgot that they are supposed to provide encouragement?  Why does it feel like it is an "us against them" (eg. teachers against students) kind of war?

I am emotionally drained from all of this.  How do I help him?  He is so totally lost still.  And I realize I am repeating myself over and over on this topic.  I do know that if things do not get better, I am seriously considering home-schooling.  I know of one parent that has pulled her daughter out of school already because of the curriculum.  And she was a teacher back in the states.
I scouted the Amazon website to find books on how to help Brother with school.  I stumbled upon some books about boys in particular and how we are failing them.  In the past two decades we have been so focused on girls that the scales have tipped and now girls are making great strides while the boys have been left behind.  It is a big controversy I know.  There are many women out there who fought so hard for equal rights and Lord knows I am grateful for that.  I also think as a society we develop tunnel vision, and we forget to look at the whole picture.  The book I am reading right now is called The Trouble With Boys, by Peg Tyre.  It is very interesting so far and she seems intent at looking at things from both sides of the spectrum.  I plan on posting my first book review when I am done.

Once someone told me, after I said I was praying for patience (with my children), that I should pray instead for understanding.  If we understand, then the patience will follow.  I take that to heart as I also think that understanding can also lead to solutions.  What I am trying to say is that by understanding where my son is coming from- I hope to come up with solutions to help him succeed.  It is an uphill battle and I am putting on my battlegear!

Oh Brother...

This time last year Hubby and I had a conference with Brother's teacher.  We found out that he was was not turning in his homework and basically had all Fs at that time.  It took a lot of grounding and other rewards and punishments before he turned around and changed his tune.  He even made the honor roll later that year. 
So you can imagine the deja vu I felt when Brother's teacher asked to talk to us.  Guess what, he is getting all Fs again.  He is not turning in assignments and not doing his homework.  I should have seen it coming really.  I never saw him bring anything home.  I didn't understand why my 2nd grader had more homework than my 5th grader. 
In reality I think poor Brother is just lost in the big 5th grade world he has encountered.  It is a new school, new country and a new ball game.  He is naturally shy and very reserved.  He does not handle change well.  Not one bit.  He started off the school year with stomach aches.  We had to pick him up twice from school because the nurse said he was throwing up.  He has not contracted the flu or any virus- it is his nerves.  And for the record- I don't think he really threw up.  Once he got home he felt better about the time his friends got out of school.  Very convenient eh?
What to do?  I can't be there at school with him to hold his hand.  He has to learn to take initiative- how do you teach that?  The other issue is his self esteem- he is low in that area.  We do what we can to build his self esteem- to take pride in himself and also to stand up for himself.  But it remains a big problem with him.
Honestly the kid does not like school.  He thinks it is "boring" and would rather be out playing.  He does not like to do anything that is "boring" to him- this includes chores at home.  How can I help him to like school and to understand that we all have to work before we play?  I am at such a loss!
Speaking to one of teachers last week I almost started to bawl right in front of her.  I am so stressed out about it all- last week I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame- my back and neck were tied up in a knot.  I can ground him until he is 30- but in the long run that is not going to work.  I have to find a way to motivate him!   Help!!

Regrets and Promises

Do you ever have those thoughts that stick around the back of your mind that just give that sinking feeling- the "why did I do that?" or "why didn't I do that?"  Maybe everyone does- every once in a while I feel plagued by those thoughts.  My big regret right now is Brother's teeth.  We had him get braces to correct his underbite- but we had to do it quickly since we were moving to Japan.  The orthodontist convinced me that they would not be able to treat him here- since the Navy is understaffed in the way of orthodontics.  I think I just threw away $800 (my half of the cost of his braces.)  The braces were removed just before we flew out here- literally the day before (I wrote about this previously.)  His underbite had not been corrected- but there was an improvement and his front teeth looked beautiful and straight.

Brother just before getting his braces.

Here is the problem- he is 10 years old.  A 10 year old that has to be reminded to wear his retainer, a 10 year old that kept forgetting to wear his retainer.  It got to the point that the retainer did not fit correctly in his mouth- I could see that his front teeth were spreading out again.  Last week he came hom from school and showed me his retainer- it was in two pieces.  It was in his backpack and someone stepped on it at school.
What could I say?  We obviously can't fly back to the states to get a new retainer.  I keep thinking there has to be a solution here- but I think it will involve getting the braces back on.  We'll see if I am successful or not.
I know I can't be there at school with my son to be sure he puts his retainer in the plastic case to keep it from getting broken while he's eating lunch.  But I still feel responsible.  I did not make sure he had his retainer in every night.  Some nights I tucked him in and knew his retainer was downstairs in the kitchen- but we were both too tired to get it.

After braces- before the retainer broke. (In the train station in Shinjuku)

I kept saying to myself the reason I was tired all the time was because the move and this crazy year had worn me completely out.  That is true to a point.  It has been one hell of a year.  But...  Truth is I wasn't taking care of myself and haven't done so in a very long time.  I have an underactive thyroid that I take Synthroid for.  These past months I have not been consistent in taking it like I should.  I even let the prescription run out.  I convinced myself that it wasn't that important.  I can miss a dose and not feel the effects immediately.  It is more of a gradual process.  Eventually I lost all motivation and felt utterly exhausted- even with a good night's sleep.  Everything was feeling like a huge effort, my hair was looking terrible and I was gaining weight.  All signs of low levels of thryoid. 
I finally saw the doctor here.  He wrote me a new 'scrip.  5 days later I feel so much better!  I have energy again and feel motivated once again. 
I deserve a big slap upside my forehead- a "you coulda had a V-8" kind of slap. 
I don't know if I really could have avoided Brother's mishap with his retainer- but I do know I could have been more vigilant about making him wear it every night.  This is really going to bother me for a while.  His teeth almost look like they did before the braces- it makes me feel sick to my stomach.  I hope to find a solution soon.
The moral of the story- we have to take care of ourselves- otherwise we can't properly take care of others.  I have made a promise to myself to make sure to take my meds like I should, exercise every day (even if its just walking), and to make good choices when I eat.  I deserve to take care of myself- and my children deserve that I take good care of them.  This especially important now that I am playing single mom again.


PS- I changed the name of my blog to Living overseas as opposed to moving overseas- I am trying to put the "moving" part behind me!

Well the kids have their passports...

I still do not have mine, however. I have been calling everyday. I just get told that they are working on it. What the heck are they "working on"??- Working on driving me mad??! Still the kids passport pictures are adorable and they think its pretty cool to have their own passports. Hopefully mine will be straightened out soon. The sad part is, these are "no-fee" passports, which means that they are only issued in conjunction to being a military family member stationed overseas. In other words, it is only good for Japan- where Hubby is stationed. Sooo, we need to apply for a regular passport as well. We want to be able to travel to Korea, Hong Kong, Thailand, maybe even Australia. There are shopping trips where they fly you over to Korea for the day, and then you fly back. That sounds like a blast. Lord knows I love my retail therapy!

On a sadder note, I think brother is having a hard time with his dad being gone. He had a bad dream that we were married to different people. Maybe that is because he feels we are no longer a couple since we are physically separated? Today he had a couple of bad encounters with his friends and classmates. He got in trouble at Boys and Girls Club- where he goes after school. He walked away from a staff member and that earned him a time-out. Of course getting into trouble set him off even more. He was spitting mad and just plain upset when I picked him up. He was at the point of being violent, wanting to hurt someone or break something. I felt so helpless- I couldn't console him. Soon I too was in tears. All I could do was hug him and ask what I could do. He hds a baseball game afterwards. I was worried he wouldn't be able to shake his mood. But the team did really well tonight, winning yet another game. He was pumped by the time the game was over. I love watching him get excited like that. In fact, all of the boys were pumped- it was heart warming to see their huge smiles!

Now he is looking sad again. I hope I can find a way to help him, this is breaking my heart...