if you can't say something nice...

I have been MIA for the last week, I didn't even do my Food Fun Friday post (and I had pictures!)  It's not that I had something bad to say, I just didn't have any happy or positive to say.  I have been in a major funk, folks.  It started with Hubby coming home earlier than planned.  Earlier usually means 'happier', right?  Not when that means he has to leave again- earlier than originally planned.  The result being- he left three days before Thanksgiving, a day which also happened to be my birthday.  Knowing this was going to happen (and my plans were ruined) put me in a big funk.  That, and finding out some people weren't the friends I thought they were.  And- knowing the one true friend I have here, is leaving me next month.  Put that all together and you get one big pity party.

Honestly, I have dealt with being without my hubby many times (deployments) during my birthday/Thanksgiving time.  But I thought he was going to be home this year, and I had made big plans.  When I get let down, I fall hard.  Maybe that is a lack of maturity on my part, I don't know.

I know my readers will be shocked to hear this, and will probably stop reading my blog when I say this: I really don't like Thanksgiving.  I know!  It's so un-American of me.  I have my reasons, I won't get into it.  Anyway.... I tend to get all moody and feeling sorry for myself-ish every November.

I started to blog about it last week, but I didn't because it sounded even more pathetic whiny than what I am writing now.  I know- how can that be??

Let's focus on the positive (and the funny) now- shall we?

1.
My honey made me a birthday cake before he left.  He took Brother with him to the commissary and they bought strawberry cake mix.  Brother said that was my favorite.  I am not sure why he thinks that?  I have never made strawberry cake nor professed any love for it.  But I pretended it was my favorite, they looked so proud of themselves!  They used two boxes of cake mix and three, three- tubs of icing- which they colored a greyish lavender with my Wilton gel food color.  Sissy got to write 'Happy Birthday' on top.  Since there was left-over batter- there were some extra little dome cakes (a pan my Hubby made boob cakes with a couple of years ago- don't ask).

We went out to dinner and had some lovely gyoza (stay tuned for Friday's post).  We came home and found out Brownie (my chocolate lab) also LOVES strawberry cake!  She got the little dome cakes off the counter and ate them!  Hubby was so mad, but I thought it was funny.  Brownie had never done that before, not that I know of anyway!  She had food in her bowl, so the cakes must have been too good to resist!  The good thing is that the main cake was in my pretty glass cake stand, all protected.

The 'cake'.  I could have done without the big '37', but at least they didn't actually put 37 candles on it!

2.
I finally found a new car!  I even bought it all by myself.  If you live here you know that is a big deal.  So let's hope it lasts me the 15 remaining months we have here.

3.
Brother's football team finally got a touchdown last week.  The whole football/cheer/youth sports issue is another reason for my funk.  I will spare you the drama of that one except to say the poor kids have been totally robbed.  Needless to say, Brother's team rarely has enough players to even make a team and has had to borrow players from the other team to even have a game.  So it was great news when they finally got a touchdown!

4.
The tree is up- I did that all by myself as well.  Sissy helped too.  Brother wasn't interested in the tree this year, so Sissy and I went at it.  The excitement in her face when we got out the ornaments was just priceless.  I love that little girl!

Yeah, I know it's got a gangsta lean, but it was the first time I put up a live tree by my little ol' self!
We'll just say the tree has 'attitude'!

not a very good picture (as usual)- but here is one of the ornaments I bought last year at the bazaar.
 Something else to be happy about- bazaars!!

Here's to being cheerful and positive.  Here's to Christmas carols and cookie baking.  Here's to hoping my honey gets home in time for Christmas!!

Tired of being the "bad guy"

I want my mommy!  I want my husband!  I want a spa day! 

I think the third one I might be able to do- at least a pedicure? 

I have had an amazing/exhausting/frustrating week.  I am surprised I am still able to sit upright and type.  Why you ask?...

Amazing- I got to meet and work with some awesome Navy wives through Compass this week.  While I did do some teaching and feel like the participants learned something from me- I learned so much from them and the other Compass Mentors.  If you are a Navy wife and haven't done the course yet- DO IT!!  (and I say this in hopes you have a Compass team at your duty station.)

Exhausting- Compass, school, errands, Compass, school, errands, kids, kids, kids, kids (get it?)

Frustrating- I hate being the bad guy all of the time.  I feel like I am still at the same place with Brother.  I thought there was an improvement way back when with school.  It feels like 2 steps forward and 1.999 steps back.  We still have the same issues with school, only now he is pre-pubescent.  And as you can imagine [insert sarcastic tone here]- that is just a whole lot of FUN! 

He IS a good kid.  He doesn't get into trouble at school, doesn't fight, doesn't swear in front of adults (as I have seen other kids his age do.)  He is generally is a good and respectful child.  But getting him to care just a little about doing his work, completing his work, and the quality of his work- that is like trying to push a Mac Truck up a hill in San Fransisco.  He pushes back when I push him- and he pushes hard (not literally, mind you.)

I feel for him, he has a lot going on.  His hormones are starting to act up, he is growing like crazy (so he is having growing pains), and his dad is deployed.  It is an emotional rollercoaster- one that I am not handling so well. 

The other frustrating part is that I can't share this with Hubby.  He is deployed and needs to be able to focus on his job.  If he knew how frustrated Brother and I are right now- he would then be worried over something he can't do anything about right now.  And if he is worried about home, then he can't have that focus he needs.

I have seen other milspouses discuss what should and shouldn't be shared when our service member is deployed.  It is really hard when your spouse is the one you usually share everything with.  I do share certain things- and he knows these are things that I can handle (and I usually can.)  But the whole getting homework done and helping with studying for the spelling test.  Well- he can't do that where he is at. 

Back to the topic- I am just tired of being the bad guy.  I am so ready for Hubsie to come home and take over!  Well- the control freak in me doesn't really want him to completely take over.  But you know what I mean!

Thanks for listening, I feel better now...

Thou Shall Not Compare

A few weeks ago I posted about a Grief Recovery class that I learned about.  True to my word, I signed up- and today was my third session/class.  I have to say that I have already started to change my way of thinking about many things.  I think the big lesson learned today was that we should not compare our losses.  While I did believe that everything is relative, I was still comparing my losses, my troubles, my- whathaveyou. No two losses are the same, even in similar circumstances.  For example, the pain of a woman's loss of her child is not the same as another woman's loss her own child.  We should never say to another "I know how you feel".  Why?  Because we don't!  It is well meant most of the time- thinking it will help the person to not feel alone in their pain.  But really when I think about it- someone telling me they know how I feel is not altogether true.  And really- it doesn't help one bit.  Basically it's a way for someone to change the subject.

That goes for deployments too!  I may have been through a few deployments, but honestly I don't know what it is like for another wife.  Everyone's situation is unique.  Maybe another wife (or husband) might have troubles back home, their child is acting up, or that spouse cannot sleep a wink and cannot function enough to do the basic things needed.  Just because a wife is new to deployment- it doesn't mean that her pain is less than mine because I have "been through more."

I have been SO bad about comparing my loss, pain, whathaveyou.  I realize now that I have expected other people to put up or shut up- all because they were new or young or inexperienced.  I didn't feel they should be whining or complaining.  After all- that is the military life- get used to it.  But that isn't the way I should act or feel.  Everyone's pain is relevant, and it is personal.  The best thing I can do is listen. 

I am so grateful for this class.  I think I was really beginning to become an old jaded Navy wife. 

That is definitely NOT a good thing!

On a side note- I realize I have not posted pictures or blogged about Japan very much lately- I promise the next post will have a little of both!

Cheers!

Sad Dreary Day

My sweetie got to come home last week for a short visit.  While I am on the fence about the ship pulling in and out and the many hello's and goodbye's, I am very grateful for the sweet short time we had together.  Last year I was still stateside when they pulled in for graduation, so I didn't get to see him then.
So he came home on Wednesday and left last night.  We made the most of our 5 days and spent our time together as a family.  

Friday Hubby was able to go to Sissy's class for her end of the year presentation.  She was so excited and happy to have her Daddy come to her class.  That little girl is so full of hope and enthusiasm, I hope she doesn't let anyone or anything break down that beautiful spirit.  Afterwards Hubby took me golfing for the first time.  Did I mention I have taken up golf?  I had THE best time (except for one or two frustrating moments).  Hubby enjoyed it too.  He even bragged to everyone how well I did- I surprised him.  I wish I had started playing before now.  I can see now this will be our "thing" we do together- especially when our kids are grown and out of the house.

That night we took the kids bowling and the next day swimming was on the agenda.  It truly felt like a vacation.

Yesterday was a sad day of course, we were anticipating the separation.   The last time he left- I knew it was probably only for a few weeks- so I wasn't too upset.  This time.. well, this time it will be a long time.  Does anyone ever get used to it?  This is our 5th deployment (not counting all the dets to here and there, I couldn't even count that.)  So I figure by now we have spent about 3 years total apart, if not more.  While I am independent and can take care of myself and the children while acting as a single mother- there is still a void in the house.  It is almost as if his not being here creates a negative presence.  I always think that when I look at his side of the bed and think "he was just here, how can the bed feel so empty so quickly?"  My heart is aching.  As always, I feel bad because I DO enjoy my independence.  But I think that is my coping tool.  We can't be miserable the whole time- it's not healthy and it's not productive.

Today is grey and rainy.  That seems fitting.  It matches our mood here.  I need to make a plan for our summer, give us something to look forward to. 

But in the mean time I will wallow in a little self-pity, get it out of my system.

Seriously?

Last fall I was writing about my troubles with Brother and his problems at school.  It was especially hard that Hubby was gone- mainly because said husband would look up the grades online and then proceed to email me commands on what I needed to do.  He was very frustrated and thus I was frustrated, and at times- insulted.  Since then Brother was able to improve his grades.

Fast forward to today.  Hubby just left and hello!- he gets a nice little email from the grades website that Brothers grade in Math was dropped to 56%.  So then he forwards it to me with the note "I need to stop getting these. Hopefully he gets his grades up before the end of the year." 

It's deja vu and not the good kind.  So now I have that awful feeling of stress in my gut and I can't shake it.  To make it worse- I got an email from his teacher letting me know that Brother " has not been coming to class prepared for weeks. He never seems to have a pencil and is not focused on completing his work."  It goes on from there.  I just want to cry now.  I need a plan of action and fast.  School will be out for the day here in a little bit and I need to have my speech ready (ie- "you're grounded.")  The second thing I am going to do is delete Hubby's email so he doesn't get the grade reminders.  Then I will tell him he is not allowed to look at the grades since he can't do anything from where he is it. 

Did I mention that I feel the need to cry?

Sleep is the answer

Sissy once had an accident at our local Home Depot.  She was running towards her Dad, who was pushing the shopping cart.  We all thought she knew it was directly in front of her and expected her to stop.  But I think something caught her eye and the next thing we knew- whack!  She smacked right into the cart.  At first our impulse was to laugh, because this was a "typical" accident of her- at least it appeared like it.  But when she was completely silent we knew she was sucking in all the air she could for the screaming that was to come from her poor mouth.  Hubby grabbed her and went straight for the bathroom.  I knew she hit her mouth, I knew there was blood.  When Brother and I caught up to him, his shirt was covered in blood and so was her face.  I looked in her mouth- her front teeth had been pushed back.  I tried to pull one back, and Sissy gave such a painful shudder that I immediately let go.   We cleaned her up- declined the offer to submit an accident report to Home Depot- mainly because it wasn't their fault.

We took her to the ER and waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  By the time we got her in to see a doc, she had fallen asleep.  So in his very bad bedside manner way- the doc says we need to get her to a dentist.  And he tells us it "must not be that painful since she fell asleep." 

I should have cussed him for being an a-hole told him that I was worried that she may have had other injuries to her face or jaw.  I should have told him he is an idiot.  Sleep is a natural defense when we are in pain (at least for some people).  Not to mention we had waited a good long while AND it was her bedtime.


That was almost 5 years ago.  I thought of that story because right now all I want to do is sleep.  I realized a couple of years ago that sleep is a coping mechanism of mine.  The first time Hubby deployed, we had only been married for 6 months.  We had just moved to NAS Whidbey Island earlier that summer (where I knew no one).  AND my best friend had been killed in a car accident the month prior.  I dropped him off at the terminal early in the morning.  After that I drove home and slept.  I was supposed to go to work that morning, but I slept in and went in late.  I have felt the urge to sleep whenevr Hubby deploys, or when something sad has happened- such as when my father passed away- I took the kids to my neighbor so I could handle some details.  I made flight arrangements, and then took a long nap.

Today all I wanted to do is sleep.  I had to fight the urge and make myself get up and get things done.  Realizing the urge to sleep- it became clear to me that Hubby's deployment is affecting me more than I realized.  This is deployment #5 for us.  That does not include all of the detachments, training, what have you. 

It is a natural reaction to want to just hole myself up- not see the world for a while.  But I did that when we got here after a stressful move, I don't want to do that again.  I am going to fight the urge for now.  I am looking on the bright side- we have already been together longer this year than we were all of last year (we were together 3 out of 12 months.) 

Last year was bad.  When we dropped him at the airport for his flight to Japan, the kids cried like I have never heard them cry before.  It was the most heartbreaking sound I have ever heard.  I did not let myself cry then.  But that night, I woke up around midnight and started to sob. 

Yesterday was the longest day ever.  Someone described it as a band aid that just needed to be pulled off- I agreed.  We tried to drag out the last moments together- but those moments were stressfull and too rigid- trying to anticipate the loss.  Finally last night we dropped off Hubby and said goodbye (see you later).  He was crying, he didn't want to leave us.  Brother and I didn't cry.  But when we drove away, Sissy started to bawl.  I hated to hear it.  My stomach was just a big ball of hurt.  I was worried, and I think holding in the tears wasn't helping.  Luckily, both of the kids fell asleep easily last night- I was afraid they would be up all night with bad dreams or just worrying about Daddy being gone.  But they slept soundly, thank goodness.

I think sleep is a comfort to them as well.

Emotional Rollercoaster

Our household is in total upheaval.  We are getting ready for Hubby to leave us again for who knows how long.  The kids are not happy about it, I am not even sure HOW I feel right now, and Hubby- well, he is extremely stressed out and worn down.

Okay here is the truth.  Last month I was angry with Him- as in my husband.  It is a classic tale of a wife feeling like she does everything and feels resentful- while the husband doesn't understand what the fuss is all about.  He just knows she is storming around the house and not talking to him.  That is- when he is aware of her presense whilst playing World of Warcrap.  (I hate that and every other MMG out there.)
Knowing that in the future he would be leaving again- I wanted to have some help with household chores since once he leaves- it's all on me. 

I am NO angel by any means.  But I was upfront about it- clearly indicating what needed to be done and asking nicely.  What I got back was hostility or a promise to do it later.  And we all know how that ends.  Eventually I became tired of waiting and asking and just got angry.  That's my side of the story. 

Let me tell you I am the type of person that tries to look at situations from both sides.  The checker who was rude to me maybe was having a bad day or not feeling well.  The school secretary who never smiles (true story) maybe is physically unable to move her mouth into said facial expression (but I think I saw her smile once- so there goes that theory.) 

So I tried to be patient- knowing that he had a lot on his plate at work.  But even then- I was still mad.  If I am having a hard time at work- working overtime or what have you- I STILL take care of all the household matters.  So while I was not talking and being angry in my passive-aggressive manner- I did not nag once!  So there!  To top it all off- I felt like if Hubby were to leave right there and then- life would be easier for me. 

Truly- I am not writing this to bitch about my husband- only to explain my "emotional rollercoaster."

Moving ahead- I regained my patience once I realized being mad wasn't helping and plus I have a hard time holding a grudge (yes I tried to- shame on me.)  Add a pending seperation and my anger completely disolved.  Now I am running errands- taking care of things he needs as he is working 12+ hour days.

Enter the children.  Sissy is crying over everything.  I think some of it is her age- but I know a big part of it is the fact her Daddy is leaving.  Brother has his ups and downs as well.  We all are strung tight, being snappy and dealing with aching stomachs. 

I have been a Navy wife well over 14 years- a little separation is no big deal I was thinking.  In fact- I had been worrying about what we will do when the day comes that Hubby is no longer in the service.  He would be HOME ALL THE TIME!  Damn- I sound like a cold hearted bitch.  Imagine my shock when I started crying when it hit me that he is really leaving.

Thus my emotional rollercoaster.  Sometimes I am sad and weepy, other times I am optimistic- making plans and thinking of things to keep us busy.  And I have been a complete air head!  I tried putting the car in gear without stepping on the break and thought my car was broken.  I almost ran a red light right in front a Japanese squad car (my passengers stopped me luckily.)  I have stubbed my toes on every possible corner in the house and even tripped on the stairs, breaking my big toe nail all the way down one one side.  Ouch!  I am forgetting words and sometimes I forget what I am doing and walk around the house aimlessly.  It is so frustrating!  So now I am making a special effort to be wary of my actions- for example basic walking.  I am also trying to be extra patient with my children and not let them see my frustration and stress.  After all- if they see Mom is not dealing- then it must be bad, right?

I am dreading "D" Day.  For now I will keep busy.  Needing something to do- I have been cleaning and cleaning some more (which is normally not my fave activity.)  When the day comes, I must be strong and not break down when the children cry when we say our goodbyes.  It's choking me up just thinking about it... 

Hubby's boss told me yesterday that in his family- they never say goodbye.  They always say- "I will see you later."  I didn't really get it until just now.  I think that is a practice we will put to good use.

I need to jump back on my soapbox...

And write an editorial to the Stars and Stripes (military newspaper we get here in Japan)- but I am too busy!  I hardly have a moment to write this post.
 I'll get back to why at the end of my post.  First- a little update...

This week is Sissy's birthday.  She will be 8!!  Where does the time go I ask you?  So I am running around trying to find presents and party favors.  I miss Party City right now.  At least I got her off the track of having a Pokemon party.  I am SO TIRED of Pokemon!!  Instead of that- now we are having a slumber party.  Aaack!!  I'll let you know how it went- if. I. survive.

Last week we held another Compass session.  Did I mention that already?  Sorry- I tend to repeat myself often from time to time.  This time I presented the financial section.  I thought it went well for the most part.  I am really glad to have become a mentor.  I love meeting new wives (and hopefully a few husbands if we ever rope one or two to come)- and I really feel like we are making a difference.  Now our leader- the one who started it all for us at our base- is leaving us.  I love that woman and I am sad to see her go.  She has been a Navy wife for more than 26 years and is just a wealth of knowledge.  She knows more about the Navy than most sailors I think.  And she is not afraid to tell a sailor when they are doing wrong- "you are out of uniform" or "you need to pull up your pants."  She cracks me up.  She tries to convince us that we too have to responisibility to tell people when they are wrong.  I don't have the b..., well you know what I mean. ;)

So back to my post title.  Why do I need to write an editorial?  Well- there is this article on the front page of Tuesday's paper about the effects of deployments on military children.  While I DO agree that military children have so many hurdles to go through in life- I just don't understand why they are JUST NOW talking about this??  Before the war- Navy children have been enduring deployments for.. always??  The typical deployment is 6 months with many weeks of detachments (short deployments here and there) before the actual long deployment.  Before- deployments were 9 and 12 months (luckily before my honey's time.)  Where was the national concern for these children?  The family portrayed in the article made a lot of bad decisions, in my opinion.  (I am getting more opinionated in my old age.)
I am not upset with the other services- I equally respect all US military.  It doesn't matter where they go or why- gone is gone.  Children don't understand why mommy or daddy has to leave.  My own children are dreading their daddy leaving right now.  Brother woke up this morning scared from a bad dream about his dad leaving.  It breaks my heart.  Of course- anytime military parents have to go into a dangerous situation- that makes it even harder to bear.  My prayers go out to them all.

It is the media I have a problem with.  They only focus on what attracts the most attention.  Take for example- Tiger Woods.  Really??  Is that really so important that all other news goes by the wayside? 

*sigh*

Stepping onto my Soapbox...

I am not a very confrontational person.  I used to avoid them (confrontations) altogether.  Now I kind of "pick and choose" my battles.  I admit- I usually bite my tongue and keep it all inside.  So I am in awe and sometimes a little shock when I am around people who don't hold back.  I have a friend who has been a Navy wife for more than 26 years- she tells you like it is.  At the Kahki ball last year she told the DJ that his music "sucked" and that he needed to play something we could dance to.  At the holiday party she yelled at one of the younger sailors and told him to keep his pants pulled up.  She makes me laugh.  Maybe when I am older I will be able to be that bold (or maybe just not care what people think.)  That is not to say I haven't gone off on anyone or told someone when they did something wrong- I have had my moments- and I am not ashamed!

Bear with me as I am going to take a moment to step on to my soapbox.  It has to do with being a Navy (or military for that matter) Wife/Spouse.  I don't "know it all"- if you read my post about being knocked down a peg or two- you know that too.  But one thing I am sure of- being a military spouse is hard work.  Being IN the military is HARD work.  Another thing- ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.

That said I am tired of the negativity that seems to be the only thing to come out of some people's mouths.  I made friends with this girl who seemed like a very positive and outgoing person- she does volunteer work and I really enjoyed talking to her.  So of course I "friended" her on Facebook.  At first everything was great- we talked about her marathon training and about exploring Japan.  Next thing I know she is complaining about her husband's squadron making them work until 1700 every day.  What?  Surely she meant a later time than 5pm?  But then she complains about living on base, and negative people, and all sorts of other drama.  I chalked that up to being immature and felt a little annoyed but just ignored it.  One day she tells me that if her husband doesn't get accepted to a program that will make him go from enlisted to officer, he is going to get out- because "he doesn't like deployments".  He has one whole deployment under his belt.  I bit my tongue and changed the subject. 

What prompted me to step on my soapbox was this post on Facebook: "I hate this fucking base."  To me, that is a pretty broad statement.  Does she hate everyone who lives here, does she hate everyone who works here- does she hate all of the commands, her husband's command. or does she just hate the Navy?
I ignored it.  But I didn't forget.

I saw her last weekend and she mentioned something about going back home this summer.  And she said "you can probably tell from my Facebook posts that I am sick of this place".
"Yep."  that's all I said.  Change the subject.

Am I just chickenshit?  I am not afraid of what she would say- I just don't want to hurt her feelings.  She works with the kids and I appreciate what she does so I don't want to turn her off to that.
But really- she is not the only one I have heard talk like that.  I feel really insulted when someone says their husband got out because they didn't like being away from their family.  Really?  So you are saying my husband LOVES it?  What makes you so special that you can't be seperated for more than 2 days??

It's hard and just plain sucks at times.  I tell no lies.  And frankly- if you or your relationship isn't strong enough- you will not make it far.  The military is not for everyone.  Some people do not thrive in that environment and have other places to where they will make their mark on the world.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Not everyone is in it for a career.  But don't tell me you are too special to handle being separated from your family or your spouse.  Don't tell me you are above being a military wife and are too good to associate with my kind.  (Oh yes, I have known people like that.)  Don't tell me that the military doesn't care about families.  Don't tell me you hate the military because of one bad experience or one person you didn't like.  Don't tell me that your spouse is being treated unfairly because he has to stay late to strip and wax the floors- and he is an E-4.  Everybody does their time. 

It is what you make it.  There are so many resources out there now, and the military is much more family friendly than they used to be.  And everyday thousands of families and spouses make it.  I have known families with children with special needs that deal with deployments.  I have seen women with many children take care of house and home while hubby's gone- without those kind of complaints.  I myself have dealt with pain and tragedy when my husband was deployed.  My son was only two weeks old when Hubby left for his second 6 month deployment.  Yes it was hard but I made the most of it.  I for one am grateful that my husband isn't in a war zone facing mortal danger day in and day out.  In fact, sometimes I feel a little guilty missing my Hubby when I know he is at least safer than some.  I admire those families that have to worry if their loved one will come home or not- they have the toughest job out there.   But separated is separated and it is all hard.  And even when they are home they can have long hours and may not be able to take leave when they would like. 

But what would we do if no one wanted to join the military because it was too hard on relationships and families?  Do you think there would be a draft or mandatory service for everyone?  And lets face it- with the economy I am glad for the Navy right now- at least I know they aren't going out of business!
It's time for me to step back down off the box.  I feel better now.  I just need to come up with a nice way to relay this all to said friend.  It needs to be something nicer than "Suck it up buttercup" or just "quityerbitchin"!

Typhoons and Deployments

My sweetie is deployed again. This time it will be a shorter trip- hopefully he will be back in time for the holidays. It still sucks to see him leave again of course.
It never ceases to amaze me how we (hubby and I) behave before he leaves. You would think we would be cuddling and savoring every last moment together. Not quite. Husband almost always withdraws and finds something to occupy his time- usually the computer. It is a cycle of deployment I know and actually not unusual for someone to do prior to a big separation. Of course I want him to help around the house and make things easier for when he leaves. Instead he makes a huge mess packing his gear and then proceeds to ignore the world around him. This time around I was infuriated. So I started nagging at everyone for not picking up after themselves (in my defense they were all like mini tornadoes that day). Hubby just kept his distance. I think he knew- I was angry that he had to leave again. I am supposed to be a seasoned Navy wife- but I still get angry.
The next morning was better (he was to leave that night)- we were actually talking and cuddling. That night we were to drive him to where the buses were coming to pick him up to take him to the ship. Gathering his last minute items and putting on his uniform- Hubby was swearing and stomping around the house. I asked him what was wrong but I only received an incoherent response- so I kept my distance. I did notice he was sweating and then he started sniffling. His eyes were full of tears he was fighting to hold back. I hate seeing him like that.
We drove to the bus stop and waited with him for the bus to come. When the bus arrived he gave me a big hug- I could hear him literally choking back the sobs that were fighting their way out. I told myself not to cry. If I cry- the kids cry. Besides- I had already cried the night before. We waved goodbye to him and walked to our car. The kids took it very well- I am proud of them.

The next day they are telling us Super Typhoon Melor is headed for Japan. I was not too worried- we have had a typhoon warning before and nothing came of it. A couple of days later Super Typhoon Melor was downgraded to a plain old Typhoon Melor. But the base was telling us to be prepared- it was still headed our way. Next thing we know school is going to be closed and the base was to be shut down. Well- that is kind of serious huh?

(Typhoon Melor is still on the move)

Funny that the ship pulled out just in time- just leave us behind with a Typhoon right? I know it wasn't planned but what timing huh? So I cleaned the house, stocked up with water, flashlights, batteries, candles and food. We hunkered down for the storm. It was eerily quiet before it all began. There really is a calm before the storm. I stayed up quite late to watch the storm- I admit I was excited in a way. I did eventually get to sleep- and woke up at 3am to the sound of thunder. Sister woke up and came in my bed- she was frightened. I was a little frightened as well- it was pretty nasty outside and I was worried the power would go out. I knew the eye was getting close- there was no telling what it would do.
I actually slept through most of the eye of the storm. When I woke up it was still crazy outside- but obviously we were all going to be okay. It eventually stopped raining and the sun came out. it was the oddest thing- the wind was still whipping at the trees- yet the sun was shining like it was the middle of summer. Every once in a while a storm cloud would pass and it would get dark for a moment or two. I walked outside to get something out of my car- so strange not to see a soul outside- it was all very quiet. Once the wind died down the "all clear" was given and all of the sudden there were children everywhere. I made the kids go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I needed a reprieve.
That evening it got dark very quickly. The air smelled different- it was cleaner somehow. My friend said it was like fresh washed linen- I had to agree.

We have had quite a week. It feels like at least two weeks have passed since Husband left- but in fact it has only been 5. That is a lot to take all in a matter of 5 days. Somehow I feel refreshed and energized, inspired even. I wonder why that is?

My honey is home!!

This is my happiest blog entry to date. My sweetie came home yesterday! I thought this day would NEVER get here!! If you are wondering why I am at the computer since he just got home- I am up early and just walked the kids to school. My honey is still sleeping- he was on only 2 hours of sleep the day before- so I am letting him sleep in!

The last couple of days have been crazy. We were all on pins and needles- so excited to have daddy come home- and the kids started school. Sister was not happy on the first day of school- she was scared. I was surprised that it wasn't Brother that was acting up- I was more worried about him. Of course the children tend to suprise me and reverse roles. :) School went off without a hitch. I think they both like their new school- I am relieved. They are not alone in being the new kids in school. Out of 500 students, 100 of them are new this year. Wow. It is a lot different than their school back in Washington. They line up every morning on what they call the "red top" (the courtyard next to the playground. It is concrete that has been painted red.) They say the pledge of allegiance together every morning. next week they will start doing their morning exercises- just like the Japanese schools do. There is a name for it, but I can't remember it. I'll post it when I find out. The school reminds me when I was a kid. I went to school in San Diego- we lined up on the "black top" every morning. Our playground was black asphalt- this is before they came up with using wood and rubber chips under the swings and jungle gyms (there were rocks if we were lukcy)- and no giant rubber mats. That asphalt was unforgiving, if you fell your skin was going to be torn up!

So this week was about starting school and getting ready for Husband to come home. I tried to get everything completely unpacked and put away. I came close to finishing, but in the end I just shoved the extra Rubbermaid containers in the closets and called it good. The kids rooms are not quite done yet either. I feel like I have been cleaning and organizing all year long! Frankly I am sick of it!! I DID make sure my bedroom was in order. Of course I just bought brand new bedroom furniture- so that made it easier. It is my first ever brand new complete bedroom suite! I feel like I finally became an adult. Haha. It is also a gift from husband for all my hard work this year. Damn right I deserve it!!

Yesterday I got the kids off to school, cleaned up after breakfast- folded the laundry and then proceeded to take a nice long hot bath (with a good book to read of course!) I did not realize that our tub is so big, I can stretch out almost all the way and it is nice and deep. I see a lot of bubble baths in my future. I can't find any bubble bath around here so I will have to get online with Bath and Body Works. Anyway- after my bath I headed out and picked up mail and bought the kids a new movie- Coraline. Since I didn't know for sure when Husband would get here- I figured that they could be distracted by a movie in case there was a delay.

No delay! I got a call saying he would be here in an hour. 30 minutes later he calls again and asks me to pick him up where the bus let them all off down the street. So I am running around trying to find my shoes, purse and keys when the doorbell rings. I open the door thinking it is my neighbor but instead in front of me is standing a very handsome guy in a khaki colored uniform. Its my honey!! He's here!! He didn't take the shuttle bus, but caught a ride with a friend. I can't remember his friend's name- I was in shock and forgot the name the moment he was introduced to me.

It was time for school to get out so I told husband to hide upstairs and I would go get the kids. At the school there are Dads (and some Moms) that just got home and are waiting to pick up their kids. There is excitement and joy in the air, its as if the air around is actually buzzing. I saw Brother first and he asked if he could go home because his friend that lives across the street was headed home too. So I let him go- I didn't tell him his dad was home. Sister comes out and I tell her we are going home to get ready to go pick up Daddy. Brother comes back to the school just as we are leaving, he is riding his bike. I know he hasn't seen his dad yet. So I tell him the same thing I told sister- but he doesn't want to come inside the house. He keeps insisting that he ride his bike down there. After much convincing I get both of them in the house and send them upstairs because I have a present in my room for dad. Of course the present is for them. I hear brother exclaim when he sees dad- he sounds like he is going to cry. Sister is up next and they both attack him. When I come up behind Sister they are all in a big bear hug at the top of the stairs. Talk about heart warming!

So for now I will let my honey catch up on his sleep. I think I will grab my book and go read in bed next to him while I wait for him to wake up!