if you can't say something nice...

I have been MIA for the last week, I didn't even do my Food Fun Friday post (and I had pictures!)  It's not that I had something bad to say, I just didn't have any happy or positive to say.  I have been in a major funk, folks.  It started with Hubby coming home earlier than planned.  Earlier usually means 'happier', right?  Not when that means he has to leave again- earlier than originally planned.  The result being- he left three days before Thanksgiving, a day which also happened to be my birthday.  Knowing this was going to happen (and my plans were ruined) put me in a big funk.  That, and finding out some people weren't the friends I thought they were.  And- knowing the one true friend I have here, is leaving me next month.  Put that all together and you get one big pity party.

Honestly, I have dealt with being without my hubby many times (deployments) during my birthday/Thanksgiving time.  But I thought he was going to be home this year, and I had made big plans.  When I get let down, I fall hard.  Maybe that is a lack of maturity on my part, I don't know.

I know my readers will be shocked to hear this, and will probably stop reading my blog when I say this: I really don't like Thanksgiving.  I know!  It's so un-American of me.  I have my reasons, I won't get into it.  Anyway.... I tend to get all moody and feeling sorry for myself-ish every November.

I started to blog about it last week, but I didn't because it sounded even more pathetic whiny than what I am writing now.  I know- how can that be??

Let's focus on the positive (and the funny) now- shall we?

1.
My honey made me a birthday cake before he left.  He took Brother with him to the commissary and they bought strawberry cake mix.  Brother said that was my favorite.  I am not sure why he thinks that?  I have never made strawberry cake nor professed any love for it.  But I pretended it was my favorite, they looked so proud of themselves!  They used two boxes of cake mix and three, three- tubs of icing- which they colored a greyish lavender with my Wilton gel food color.  Sissy got to write 'Happy Birthday' on top.  Since there was left-over batter- there were some extra little dome cakes (a pan my Hubby made boob cakes with a couple of years ago- don't ask).

We went out to dinner and had some lovely gyoza (stay tuned for Friday's post).  We came home and found out Brownie (my chocolate lab) also LOVES strawberry cake!  She got the little dome cakes off the counter and ate them!  Hubby was so mad, but I thought it was funny.  Brownie had never done that before, not that I know of anyway!  She had food in her bowl, so the cakes must have been too good to resist!  The good thing is that the main cake was in my pretty glass cake stand, all protected.

The 'cake'.  I could have done without the big '37', but at least they didn't actually put 37 candles on it!

2.
I finally found a new car!  I even bought it all by myself.  If you live here you know that is a big deal.  So let's hope it lasts me the 15 remaining months we have here.

3.
Brother's football team finally got a touchdown last week.  The whole football/cheer/youth sports issue is another reason for my funk.  I will spare you the drama of that one except to say the poor kids have been totally robbed.  Needless to say, Brother's team rarely has enough players to even make a team and has had to borrow players from the other team to even have a game.  So it was great news when they finally got a touchdown!

4.
The tree is up- I did that all by myself as well.  Sissy helped too.  Brother wasn't interested in the tree this year, so Sissy and I went at it.  The excitement in her face when we got out the ornaments was just priceless.  I love that little girl!

Yeah, I know it's got a gangsta lean, but it was the first time I put up a live tree by my little ol' self!
We'll just say the tree has 'attitude'!

not a very good picture (as usual)- but here is one of the ornaments I bought last year at the bazaar.
 Something else to be happy about- bazaars!!

Here's to being cheerful and positive.  Here's to Christmas carols and cookie baking.  Here's to hoping my honey gets home in time for Christmas!!

Early Thanksgiving Special (A Tribute to my Grandma)

I've been having my own little pity party lately- as you will probably notice from my recent posts.  I could go on with the FML moments, but I thought I would change it up a bit.  Thanksgiving is next week- it is the time to think about what we are thankful for, right?

Whenever I think of Thanksgiving I immediately think of my sweet grandma.  Growing up we always had her over for Thanksgiving.  We also shared our birthday celebrations together.  Her birthday is the day after mine, and every so many years one of our birthdays will fall on Thanksgiving.
I can't lie, many times I resented her being there at every birthday party.  She always liked to watch my friends and myself- see what we were up to.  As she got older her watching turned into open mouth gaping.  Oh Grandma!  Of course I miss all of that now.  She loved me most of all out of all of her grandchildren.  (I hope my cousins don't read my blog.)  It is a fact, we spent the most time together.  She taught me to sew and crochet.  She taught me how to iron and how to make biscuits. 

That's me with my Grandma and Grandpa in 1975.  I have a dirty look on my face because I hated that dog- Jo-Jo.  He was the meanest ball of teeth and fur that walked the Earth.  He tortured me until I was about 10 when he finally died of old age (he was like 17 years old I think.)  I remember that little guitar in my hands fondly.  Maybe I should have whacked the dog with it- show him who was boss!

Grandma made the best chicken and dumplings on the planet.  And iced tea, oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, bread.. I could go on.  Her pride and joy was her Thanksgiving dressing.  She started on it the night before.  It wasn't anything fancy- homemade cornbread and Stove Top Stuffing mix.  But it was out of this world- I think it was all the love she baked into it.  Did I mention her pies?  My mouth is watering, thinking back to those pies.  I know I have pictures of some our Thanksgiving feasts- my mom always took a picture of the table before we all dug in.  I need to find them, they have so much more meaning to me now.

Next week will be her 97th birthday on Thanksgiving Day.  She was born in 1912- I wish I could see history through her eyes.  This may very well be her last birthday.  I am sad we will not be able to spend it together like old times.  I will try calling her, but honestly I don't think she will know who I am.  She was one of 7 children and the only one left.  She nursed two of her brothers and her only sister on their deathbeds.  After her last sibling passed- about 4 years ago- she started to let go.  I really think she made it that far- just so she could take care of them.  Now she lives with my mom and is in hospice care.  My mom said she talks to her father all of the time and thinks I am still a baby.  She gets confused when my mom tries to explain that I am all grown up now- so when asked "where is the baby"- mom just tells her I am sleeping.

She is a tough lady.  She told my mom that she wants to make it to 100 so the guy on the Today show will announce her birthday.  I wouldn't be surprised if she does.  The doctors will probably say no, but we are not sure what to expect.  She survived breast cancer and a masectomy at 75.  She laughed about getting her "boob" cut off.  We were all just amazed. 

San Diego- going to lunch at Mission Beach 1993

Not only did she pass on her love of sewing to me, but she gave me her thumbs as well.  I have the same squat fat thumbs as she has.  Kids used to tease me, ask if I sucked my thumbs.  That never bothered me- I was proud to have my grandma's thumbs (no one else in the family inherited them.)  My children didn't get them, but maybe some day I'll have a grandchild that will get them.

To sum it up I am grateful to have known such a wonderful woman and to have known her endless love.  I am grateful to remember catching her snooping in my shopping bags to find her birthday present I bought her.  I am grateful she dragged me to church in my great aunt's Charger with the vinyl seats in the 115 degree weather- and go eat at Bob's Big Boy afterwards.  I am grateful she taught me what it means to take pride in one's work.  I am grateful she always took my side when my mom got mad at me- no matter if I was wrong or not.  I am grateful I took my children to see her and spend time with her (Sister referred to her as "my old grandma who lives in the desert.")  I am grateful I have her thumbs so I will always have them to remind me of her.

I hope one day I can be as great a Grandmother as she is.  Happy Birthday Grandma! I love you!

Why I Locked Myself in the Bathroom (or Why Too Many Days off from School and Video Games are Bad)

Dude! I need a break. The kids have only been to school for 4.5 days in these past two weeks. Nearly 2/3 of these students have single parents at home because their other parent is deployed. Are they trying to kill us? The summer is one thing- but when the weather is cold and they need to stay indoors because of the torrential downpour- well- that makes for children climbing walls and their mothers pulling out their own hair.

I thought I would be nice and let them play video games (they are very limited on their playing time these days). That only makes things worse. Video games makes crazy kids, I am not kidding. Actually if I did some research I am sure I could find studies to back up my claim.

I'll spare you any more details except to say that after dinner I ended up running upstairs- into my bedroom- locked my door- into the bathroom- closed the door- into the comode/shower room- closed the door- put the toilet lid down and sat down with my head in my hands and let the tears come.

That helped a little.  Right now Sister and Brother are upstairs jumping and screaming- it sounds like they breaking down the walls. Granted-everything sounds much worse from downstairs. Still- it is NOT helping my headache.

I love my children and can't imagine life without them. I feel bad about complaining and venting- I am grateful they are happy and healthy and I know things could always be worse. But...

I can't wait until bed time.

No School Today

So I've been a bad girl- was posting regularly and then dropped out for a week.  I just couldn't think of what to write about.  Would you call that a blogger's block?  I know that is corny. 

It's Friday and the kids have been out of school since yesterday.  They return on Monday only to get out early on Tuesday and then do not go back until the following week.  The teachers are still there- I see their cars lined up outside.  I know Brother's teachers are busy recording all of his Fs on his report card.  Maybe not all Fs, but there are way too many.  One F is too many in my book (and I am sure in most everyone else's).   It is beyond frustrating.  I know Brother has to be the one to do it- I can't go to school for him.  But I really feel that the teachers are not doing their job.  They have all of the 5th and 6th graders combined.  All of them.  They also have a strict policy of no late homework.  If it is not turned in on time, they get a 0.  No ifs, ands or buts.  I understand they are trying to prepare the students for junior high and that is great.  However, in my eye they are setting up the children for failure.  I know for a fact my son is not the only one to miss homework assignments.  What does that mean for the child who doesn't understand the assignment and is too frustrated to complete it?  No homework?  You lose!  We were up until 10pm the other night finishing Brother's homework- mainly his math homework.  I checked his work and helped him with the problems he did not get right.  He received a 10 (as in 10 points out of 100).  WTF??  I thought homework was supposed to be practice, not a test?  Hubby doesn't understand why I don't agree with grading homework.  I think he should get credit for completing it.  If it is obvious he just guessed at the answers then of course he shouldn't get credit for it.

So I emailed his math teacher and asked if she would be there at Brother's parent-teacher conference.  When she replied she asked if I wanted to have Brother tested so he can get into the math assistance program.  What??  I just talked to her two weeks prior asking if there was any kind of tutoring available for him and she said she didn't know of anything.  I forwarded the email to Hubby- I was fuming.  I will cut her some slack as she was not here at the beginning of the year (she was on maternity leave)- and the substitute did not follow her teaching plan at all.  However, if I tell her from day one that Brother is having problems she should have found out then what could be done.  She gave him an A- for science at least- I should be grateful for that.

Brother does not like school.  Aren't teachers supposed to inspire the children?  Are they too caught up in trying to just get the kids all the be quiet and do their work that they forgot that they are supposed to provide encouragement?  Why does it feel like it is an "us against them" (eg. teachers against students) kind of war?

I am emotionally drained from all of this.  How do I help him?  He is so totally lost still.  And I realize I am repeating myself over and over on this topic.  I do know that if things do not get better, I am seriously considering home-schooling.  I know of one parent that has pulled her daughter out of school already because of the curriculum.  And she was a teacher back in the states.
I scouted the Amazon website to find books on how to help Brother with school.  I stumbled upon some books about boys in particular and how we are failing them.  In the past two decades we have been so focused on girls that the scales have tipped and now girls are making great strides while the boys have been left behind.  It is a big controversy I know.  There are many women out there who fought so hard for equal rights and Lord knows I am grateful for that.  I also think as a society we develop tunnel vision, and we forget to look at the whole picture.  The book I am reading right now is called The Trouble With Boys, by Peg Tyre.  It is very interesting so far and she seems intent at looking at things from both sides of the spectrum.  I plan on posting my first book review when I am done.

Once someone told me, after I said I was praying for patience (with my children), that I should pray instead for understanding.  If we understand, then the patience will follow.  I take that to heart as I also think that understanding can also lead to solutions.  What I am trying to say is that by understanding where my son is coming from- I hope to come up with solutions to help him succeed.  It is an uphill battle and I am putting on my battlegear!