Why I Locked Myself in the Bathroom (or Why Too Many Days off from School and Video Games are Bad)

Dude! I need a break. The kids have only been to school for 4.5 days in these past two weeks. Nearly 2/3 of these students have single parents at home because their other parent is deployed. Are they trying to kill us? The summer is one thing- but when the weather is cold and they need to stay indoors because of the torrential downpour- well- that makes for children climbing walls and their mothers pulling out their own hair.

I thought I would be nice and let them play video games (they are very limited on their playing time these days). That only makes things worse. Video games makes crazy kids, I am not kidding. Actually if I did some research I am sure I could find studies to back up my claim.

I'll spare you any more details except to say that after dinner I ended up running upstairs- into my bedroom- locked my door- into the bathroom- closed the door- into the comode/shower room- closed the door- put the toilet lid down and sat down with my head in my hands and let the tears come.

That helped a little.  Right now Sister and Brother are upstairs jumping and screaming- it sounds like they breaking down the walls. Granted-everything sounds much worse from downstairs. Still- it is NOT helping my headache.

I love my children and can't imagine life without them. I feel bad about complaining and venting- I am grateful they are happy and healthy and I know things could always be worse. But...

I can't wait until bed time.

No School Today

So I've been a bad girl- was posting regularly and then dropped out for a week.  I just couldn't think of what to write about.  Would you call that a blogger's block?  I know that is corny. 

It's Friday and the kids have been out of school since yesterday.  They return on Monday only to get out early on Tuesday and then do not go back until the following week.  The teachers are still there- I see their cars lined up outside.  I know Brother's teachers are busy recording all of his Fs on his report card.  Maybe not all Fs, but there are way too many.  One F is too many in my book (and I am sure in most everyone else's).   It is beyond frustrating.  I know Brother has to be the one to do it- I can't go to school for him.  But I really feel that the teachers are not doing their job.  They have all of the 5th and 6th graders combined.  All of them.  They also have a strict policy of no late homework.  If it is not turned in on time, they get a 0.  No ifs, ands or buts.  I understand they are trying to prepare the students for junior high and that is great.  However, in my eye they are setting up the children for failure.  I know for a fact my son is not the only one to miss homework assignments.  What does that mean for the child who doesn't understand the assignment and is too frustrated to complete it?  No homework?  You lose!  We were up until 10pm the other night finishing Brother's homework- mainly his math homework.  I checked his work and helped him with the problems he did not get right.  He received a 10 (as in 10 points out of 100).  WTF??  I thought homework was supposed to be practice, not a test?  Hubby doesn't understand why I don't agree with grading homework.  I think he should get credit for completing it.  If it is obvious he just guessed at the answers then of course he shouldn't get credit for it.

So I emailed his math teacher and asked if she would be there at Brother's parent-teacher conference.  When she replied she asked if I wanted to have Brother tested so he can get into the math assistance program.  What??  I just talked to her two weeks prior asking if there was any kind of tutoring available for him and she said she didn't know of anything.  I forwarded the email to Hubby- I was fuming.  I will cut her some slack as she was not here at the beginning of the year (she was on maternity leave)- and the substitute did not follow her teaching plan at all.  However, if I tell her from day one that Brother is having problems she should have found out then what could be done.  She gave him an A- for science at least- I should be grateful for that.

Brother does not like school.  Aren't teachers supposed to inspire the children?  Are they too caught up in trying to just get the kids all the be quiet and do their work that they forgot that they are supposed to provide encouragement?  Why does it feel like it is an "us against them" (eg. teachers against students) kind of war?

I am emotionally drained from all of this.  How do I help him?  He is so totally lost still.  And I realize I am repeating myself over and over on this topic.  I do know that if things do not get better, I am seriously considering home-schooling.  I know of one parent that has pulled her daughter out of school already because of the curriculum.  And she was a teacher back in the states.
I scouted the Amazon website to find books on how to help Brother with school.  I stumbled upon some books about boys in particular and how we are failing them.  In the past two decades we have been so focused on girls that the scales have tipped and now girls are making great strides while the boys have been left behind.  It is a big controversy I know.  There are many women out there who fought so hard for equal rights and Lord knows I am grateful for that.  I also think as a society we develop tunnel vision, and we forget to look at the whole picture.  The book I am reading right now is called The Trouble With Boys, by Peg Tyre.  It is very interesting so far and she seems intent at looking at things from both sides of the spectrum.  I plan on posting my first book review when I am done.

Once someone told me, after I said I was praying for patience (with my children), that I should pray instead for understanding.  If we understand, then the patience will follow.  I take that to heart as I also think that understanding can also lead to solutions.  What I am trying to say is that by understanding where my son is coming from- I hope to come up with solutions to help him succeed.  It is an uphill battle and I am putting on my battlegear!

We're here! So now what?

(Brother and Sister on our new front steps)

Anyone that has been around me this year or communicated with me by email or read my blog will know that this has been a hell of a year. Husband leaving in February set it off. Actually, before he even left I was consumed with stress over his leaving and also my hectic work schedule. Everything seemed to boil down to one thing- get to Japan. My mantra was- "get to Japan, and then you can rest." After all, all the work has been done, all I would need to do is arrange our furniture and find a home for all of our belongings, it would be a snap!

So now we are here and I can now relax and wait for Husband to come home.

Of course you know I was wrong.

There are a million and one things to do, good grief. Our sponsor picks us up the Monday after we get here to take us to a million places. We sign up for the orientation class and I check out a hospitality kit which has silverware, plates, pots and pans- etc. We go to the Child Development Center to sign the kids up for summer camp while I am taking my week long orientation class. We stop by the cable office to reconnect the Internet and move it to our new house (Husband had it hooked up in his barracks room where he was staying.) We go to medical so I can sign up for Overseas Tricare (health insurance plan), sign up for dental, request my medical records from the States, and have the kids' immunization cards filled out for the CDC. We go to the Post Office so I can get a mail box so we can receive mail. We stop by the barracks and get some of husband's belongings out of his room- including his stash of food. It is funny to see what he cooks when he is on his own. Lots of boxed easy to prepare foods like Noodles-A-Roni, mac n cheese and Hamburger Helper.

I felt bad that our sponsor had to wait around while I did all of this. It doesn't help that I am still pretty disoriented from jet lag.

Of course I can't finish everything in one day- so every day it seems the kids and I are walking somewhere to take care of something. We have a car, but I have to take several classes before I can get a license. So walking it is. Let me tell you it is hot and humid, and often raining. we all bought new umbrellas.

Husband keeps emailing me to ask if I have taken the trains yet. No, I am not going to take the train with the children until I can go by myself and figure it out beforehand. Although I really do want to eat some real Japanese food! You would think I could find it on base- but the food court is comprised of Popeye's Chicken, Taco Bell, Subway, Anthony's Pizza, Dunkin Donuts, Baskin Robbins and Seattle's Best Coffee. There is a Japanese exchange on base that has some restaurants, but I am not brave enough to venture there without someone showing me the ropes first.

The kids and I go to the park often, there is not much else to do. Our neighbor loans us a TV, thank goodness. But watching the Armed Forces Network (AFN) gets old quickly. I never thought I would miss real commercials, ironic. We have loaner furniture. There is a small couch, a chair, a coffee table and a small side table. The kids find that they are light enough to move all around the highly polished linoleum floor. We are going nuts!! Brother wants to go bike riding, of course our bikes aren't here yet.

At first we were so exhausted we didn't notice how uncomfortable the beds are. Once I have caught up on sleep I find myself waking up in the middle of the night. I can feel the springs in the mattress, I double check to see if I am sleeping on box springs. No, just a really hard mattress that feels like box springs.

At this point I can't wait for my class that is coming next week so I can have some space from the children. Brother is especially anxious. Our first day he went out rolling around on his Heeleys and was crushed he didn't find a new best friend right away. He is so bored at home, always wanting to go swimming and just get out. I can't blame him. Of course it totally sucks that I have to drag them around to all of my errands. And when there's a chance for things to go awry and be more difficult then they should be- they do. For example- I really need to make some phone calls to the states. I get an iPhone and want to sign up for the plan that Husband has that gives him unlimited calling to the states. No, they discontinued that plan. But I can download Skype and use that to call! So I download Skype. only guess what? I have to use Wi-Fi to use Skype- the 3G network does not allow it. I finally get the Internet at home- now my iTunes decided to quit working. It literally takes me all day to fix it (still not working right though.) Its just one thing after another. At least that is what it feels like. It could be that I have been over processed and have lost all coping skills?

It makes me think of a line from the Simpsons Movie. When Bart takes Homer up on a dare and goes skateboarding naked- he is caught by the police who handcuff him to a telephone poll while still in the buff. Homer shows up, denies that the he dared Bart to go nude and only brings him a shirt and socks- no pants. To this Bart exclaims- "This is the worst day of my life!" Homer wisely responds- "The worst day of your life- so far!"

So things can always get worse- it is all relative I know. But things do get better eventually. There are good times in my future (and the children's')- I just know it! :)

Passport troubles

I guess I have taken my US citizenship for granted, I never thought I would have to prove that I am a US citizen. Apparently the State Dept. finds it necessary! Because there is no hospital name listed on my birth certificate, the passport people have suspended my application due to suspicion of fraud. My parents were born here, my grandparents, my great-grandparents- but yet they find it necessary to prove that I was born here too! Hubby made fun of me for keeping all of my report cards from when I was a kid- but I am hoping they come in handy now! I have sent off report cards and immunization records, as well as my old original birth certificate. I hope it works. Of course the website where I can check on the status is "temporarily unavailable" and has been all week.
This is a major stress point for me right now, I will feel so much better when this is cleared up! I am refusing to believe this will interfere with my move!