No School Today

So I've been a bad girl- was posting regularly and then dropped out for a week.  I just couldn't think of what to write about.  Would you call that a blogger's block?  I know that is corny. 

It's Friday and the kids have been out of school since yesterday.  They return on Monday only to get out early on Tuesday and then do not go back until the following week.  The teachers are still there- I see their cars lined up outside.  I know Brother's teachers are busy recording all of his Fs on his report card.  Maybe not all Fs, but there are way too many.  One F is too many in my book (and I am sure in most everyone else's).   It is beyond frustrating.  I know Brother has to be the one to do it- I can't go to school for him.  But I really feel that the teachers are not doing their job.  They have all of the 5th and 6th graders combined.  All of them.  They also have a strict policy of no late homework.  If it is not turned in on time, they get a 0.  No ifs, ands or buts.  I understand they are trying to prepare the students for junior high and that is great.  However, in my eye they are setting up the children for failure.  I know for a fact my son is not the only one to miss homework assignments.  What does that mean for the child who doesn't understand the assignment and is too frustrated to complete it?  No homework?  You lose!  We were up until 10pm the other night finishing Brother's homework- mainly his math homework.  I checked his work and helped him with the problems he did not get right.  He received a 10 (as in 10 points out of 100).  WTF??  I thought homework was supposed to be practice, not a test?  Hubby doesn't understand why I don't agree with grading homework.  I think he should get credit for completing it.  If it is obvious he just guessed at the answers then of course he shouldn't get credit for it.

So I emailed his math teacher and asked if she would be there at Brother's parent-teacher conference.  When she replied she asked if I wanted to have Brother tested so he can get into the math assistance program.  What??  I just talked to her two weeks prior asking if there was any kind of tutoring available for him and she said she didn't know of anything.  I forwarded the email to Hubby- I was fuming.  I will cut her some slack as she was not here at the beginning of the year (she was on maternity leave)- and the substitute did not follow her teaching plan at all.  However, if I tell her from day one that Brother is having problems she should have found out then what could be done.  She gave him an A- for science at least- I should be grateful for that.

Brother does not like school.  Aren't teachers supposed to inspire the children?  Are they too caught up in trying to just get the kids all the be quiet and do their work that they forgot that they are supposed to provide encouragement?  Why does it feel like it is an "us against them" (eg. teachers against students) kind of war?

I am emotionally drained from all of this.  How do I help him?  He is so totally lost still.  And I realize I am repeating myself over and over on this topic.  I do know that if things do not get better, I am seriously considering home-schooling.  I know of one parent that has pulled her daughter out of school already because of the curriculum.  And she was a teacher back in the states.
I scouted the Amazon website to find books on how to help Brother with school.  I stumbled upon some books about boys in particular and how we are failing them.  In the past two decades we have been so focused on girls that the scales have tipped and now girls are making great strides while the boys have been left behind.  It is a big controversy I know.  There are many women out there who fought so hard for equal rights and Lord knows I am grateful for that.  I also think as a society we develop tunnel vision, and we forget to look at the whole picture.  The book I am reading right now is called The Trouble With Boys, by Peg Tyre.  It is very interesting so far and she seems intent at looking at things from both sides of the spectrum.  I plan on posting my first book review when I am done.

Once someone told me, after I said I was praying for patience (with my children), that I should pray instead for understanding.  If we understand, then the patience will follow.  I take that to heart as I also think that understanding can also lead to solutions.  What I am trying to say is that by understanding where my son is coming from- I hope to come up with solutions to help him succeed.  It is an uphill battle and I am putting on my battlegear!

Yuzawaya and a Tribute To...

The Highlight of My Week- YUZAWAYA
It is a huge craft store with 5 floors in Yamato.  It is literally across the street from the train station- very accessible.  I did not realize that the Japanese had a love of crafting as we do in the West.  My favorite part was the fabric floor.  I am a fabriholic- I have bins full of fabric.  I love love love to buy fabric.  The sad part is that last time I sewed anything was last Halloween.

I love how they display the fabric, very efficient as that is the Japanese "way".  Some of the fabric is pretty pricey.  Although I am still trying to figure out in my head how meters convert to yards.  I'll have to sit down and write it out before I go to buy any of the fabric.  Or maybe there's an "app for that" on my iPhone? 

I did buy some some origami paper.  I love origami and so do the kids.  I ended up spending more than I intended, but it won't go to waste right?  I am definitely going back to do Christmas shopping there, so much fun stuff.  That and I'll go to the 100yen store.  Jaime, who has been my SAVIOR since moving here, gave me an early birthday present (apparently she can't wait to give gifts)- it is a book on how to make origami jewelry.  So not only does that inspire me to do more origami, but make jewlery as well.  I call that AWESOME.

Jaime is also the one who introduced me to Yuzawaya.  She asked me if I would like to to Yuzawaya- a 5 story craft store.  Does a dog like to eat steak?
I am going to take the liberty to post some pictures of her as well.  Love ya Jaime!

Here she is looking fabulous in her fabulous purple hat.  We were admiring this sort of flower "tree".  The planted the pansies in pots that are positioned on thier sides.  Quite creative I think, and also very beautiful.  The pictures don't do the flowers or Jaime justice!

Not only does Jaime look fabulous in her purple hat, but she is also a fabulous writer. I love her sense of humor, which is very apparent in her blog Life 'n' Times of.... 

Jaime was the one who saved me that first night in Japan- supplying blankets, toilet paper, capri suns and Diet Coke.  I don't know what I would have done without her- probably curl up in a ball and cry.  I am not kidding, it was that bad.

So Jaime has been there for me to help me with the kiddos and has random things I can borrow such as food dye.  She has also just been a great friend to talk to.  The bonus is that our girls get along fabulously as well.  Did I say how grateful I am to her?  How grateful?  VERY GRATEFUL.  The sucky part is that she will be leaving us sometime next year. *sniff*  Hopefully we end up in the same area again in the future, who knows?  Tha Navy is a small small world and it happens quite often that you meet friends again when you relocate.
So this is my tribute to you Jaime.  You ROCK!!
And thank you for getting me to work out again and for taking me to the most awesome place ever.

Rain and Driving School (and yummy bento boxes)

Right now as I type the rain is coming down in mad bursts of wind.  It feels like Washington.  The big difference is that it is not as COLD.  Brownie, our chocolate lab, does not want to go out, even though I know she has been holding it all day.  You would think since she is a lab she wouldn't mind the water.  But no- she practically tip toes out onto the grass when it is wet out.  Silly roggy!
Of course my car battery is dead so I had to walk to the post office today in this crazy weather.  I have one of those umbrellas made for wind and it is very handy.  Today it met its match.  I thought that any minute I was going to catch air and go off flying like Mary Poppins.  Hubby needed me to mail him things ASAP so I couldn't put off the walk.  He is lucky I love him so much. :)

Today I went on a field trip with Brother's class to a Japanese driving school.  Who knew a driving school could be so entertaining?  It starts off in a classroom and a man in a suit goes up front and starts speaking to us in Japanese.  He starts off with "Ohayou gozaimasu!" (prounounced o-hi-yo go-zi-mas)- meaning good morning.  The children understand and return his greeting.  After that most of us are lost because he continues on in Japanese.  We all just smile and nod- or in the case of some of the children- stare at him with a blank face.  In spite of the language barrier we all enjoyed it.  The local police are there to teach the children about bicycle safety and the rules of the road so to speak.  Except the "rules" are referred to as "promises" and traffic violations are called "traffic violence".  I think the kids knew what they meant?  The good thing is that the Japanese are all too ready to laugh when they mess up.  I think it is out of nervousness or embarassment- but it really difuses the situation.  One police officer who only knew enough English to tell us that he does not speak English had no trouble explaining traffic lights and how to perform a safety check on a bicycle.  In fact he is quite entertaining and there are many smiles and laughter.
Down one flight (we were on the third floor), we all gathered in front of the large window to watch a demonstration with a dummy and a bus.  At one point the bus hits the dummy (who was standing waaay to close to the bus when it was trying to turn).  The children thought that was very hilarious.

The best part of the trip- in my opinion- was lunch.  They served us bento boxes for lunch.  They weren't the pretty laquered bento boxes but rather plastic take out style bento boxes with a lid- including chopsticks and the cutest little bottle of soy sauce.  Brother LOVED the food.  We didn't know what half of it was, but it was good I have to agree.  Bento boxes are the BOMB.  We had fried chicken, salmon on rice, some kind of yummy egg custard, a mini hotdog, some kind of yellow crunchy pickled cucumber, a salted plum on top of rice, flaky fishy stuff on rice and then there was the weird kind of jelly that smelled like ramen?  I didn't eat all of that one.  There were a couple of other foods included that I don't know how to begin to describe except to say they were good.

we'll just call it yummy

Did I mention that Brother LOVED it?

As we left the employees all came out and waved goodbye.  The followed us outside when we boarded the buses and waved goodbye to us once more.  I wish I had a picture of that. 

After all the talk about wheel differential- we almost hit a truck trying to make a right turn (remember we drive on the left side here).  Somehow the bus and truck driver managed to squeak by with maybe an inch between them.  I would have been surprised had I not seen this before.

Oh Brother...

This time last year Hubby and I had a conference with Brother's teacher.  We found out that he was was not turning in his homework and basically had all Fs at that time.  It took a lot of grounding and other rewards and punishments before he turned around and changed his tune.  He even made the honor roll later that year. 
So you can imagine the deja vu I felt when Brother's teacher asked to talk to us.  Guess what, he is getting all Fs again.  He is not turning in assignments and not doing his homework.  I should have seen it coming really.  I never saw him bring anything home.  I didn't understand why my 2nd grader had more homework than my 5th grader. 
In reality I think poor Brother is just lost in the big 5th grade world he has encountered.  It is a new school, new country and a new ball game.  He is naturally shy and very reserved.  He does not handle change well.  Not one bit.  He started off the school year with stomach aches.  We had to pick him up twice from school because the nurse said he was throwing up.  He has not contracted the flu or any virus- it is his nerves.  And for the record- I don't think he really threw up.  Once he got home he felt better about the time his friends got out of school.  Very convenient eh?
What to do?  I can't be there at school with him to hold his hand.  He has to learn to take initiative- how do you teach that?  The other issue is his self esteem- he is low in that area.  We do what we can to build his self esteem- to take pride in himself and also to stand up for himself.  But it remains a big problem with him.
Honestly the kid does not like school.  He thinks it is "boring" and would rather be out playing.  He does not like to do anything that is "boring" to him- this includes chores at home.  How can I help him to like school and to understand that we all have to work before we play?  I am at such a loss!
Speaking to one of teachers last week I almost started to bawl right in front of her.  I am so stressed out about it all- last week I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame- my back and neck were tied up in a knot.  I can ground him until he is 30- but in the long run that is not going to work.  I have to find a way to motivate him!   Help!!

Crossing the border

I was thinking today how big of a deal it has been for us to go "off-base".  I mean, it is a totally different scene once you walk through the security gate.  Before I walk through, I double check to make sure I have my ID- my assurance that I can come back across.  It occured to me that going "off-base" is kind of like crossing the border.  Our base is a little self-contained city.  yes, we are on foreign soil, but everything has been done to make this feel more like "back home"- we even have McDonalds.  Most everyone here speaks English, and all of the signs are in English.
Once you pass through the gate- it is a different story.  Funny how much difference a few feet can make huh?  It feels like you just went from one country to the next.  Some people will spend their whole time on base- only to venture off base when absolutely necessary.  I admit I was hesitant to venture out at first.  But I do think if we had a better sponsor to show us around- it would not have been so scary.  I can't imagine NEVER wanting to go out however.  What is the point of even coming here?  I know if I don't go do and see as much as possible here, I will have huge regrets down the line.
I see the term "crossing the border" as a sort of analogy for stepping out of one's comfort zone and experiencing new things. 

I have to sign off now- the kids and I are going to go "cross the border"- Brother wants to use the camera I just gave him.  Maybe we will hit up the 100 Yen store too, see what flavor of Kit Kats they have today.

Wednesday Words of Advice

If you teach your children the proper names for their private parts- be prepared for embarassment.

About two years ago Sister was having accidents at daycare so her teacher called me to tell me she suspected a bladder infection.  So I called the doctor and made an appointment.  I then called the daycare teacher back to tell her I would be picking up Sister in a couple of hours.  Sister was assured by her teacher that I would pick her up soon and take her to the doctor so the doctor could make her feel better.

A little while later, the daycare teacher's assistant arrived while the children were all outside playing.  Sister spotted her across the yard and proceeded to yell, in her loudest voice:

"Hey Jen, my mom's coming to pick me up to take me to the doctor so he can fix my vagina!"  And if that wasn't enough- Jen didn't hear what she said and asked her to repeat it- before the teacher could cut her off.  Sister repeated the whole thing.  Oh dear.

Sister and I had a little talk later that day- not everyone wants to know what's going on with our body- so we will keep it between us.  And that worked for a while, until she decided to talk about "it" in the grocery store one day...

If you would like to see more words of advice- check out Willowjak's Blog.

What freaks me out

Today I had a few "freak-out" moments.  Ok I admit it, I am high-strung at times.  But when something sets me on edge I have a hard time shaking it.  One of the things that freaked me out today was when I dropped my iPhone.  It bounced. Twice- and the sim card popped out.  When I put it all back together it was telling me "no service".  I thought for sure I had broken my iPhone- which by the way is my only phone as we don't have a house phone.  And- I was across town with a car that was sounding like it wanted to die. 
I walked across the street to the cell phone store (at least I dropped my phone in a convenient place).  I handed the phone to the polite Japanese girl and told her what happened.  So she starts fiddling with the phone wearing a very concerned look on her face (at least that is what I interpreted that look to be).  It turns out she was checking out her cuticles.  And voila!- she got it to work again.  I wanted to hug and kiss her- but that would probably "freak" her out.

Here is my top ten list of things that freak me out.  This is not the same as things that scare me- the things that scare me include losing my family, getting in a horrible car crash- legitimate fears that I am sure I share with a majority of the population. 

These are things that cause me to go into panic mode.  Usually it's all internal, but everyone once in a while people can tell I am freaking out. ;)

1. When my car sounds like it is going to die on me in the middle of traffic.  It did that today- on a hill.  You know- that little sputter thing that cars do when they want to just take a nap right there on the spot.

2. When animals run across the road while I am driving.  I hit a cat once- I felt so bad.  I tried to find the poor thing- and almost got hit myself in the process.  I avoided that road for a long time after that.  Hubby has been angered more than once when driving and a cute bunny rabbit hops across the road- and I freak out like we are about to slam into a large semi.

3. Running late to the airport.  I hate that feeling that I am going to miss a flight and possibly ruin a trip I am about to take.  I am one of those people that likes to get to the airport like a day in advance- to be on the safe side.

4. Thinking I lost something- like my wallet or car keys.  This is especially true now that I live in a foreign country.

5. When the phone rings at 2 am.  No one calls at that time in the morning with happy news...  Unless of course they have a wrong number.  I have a hard time going back to sleep after that happens.

6. When a major household appliance does not work.  This is especially true of of our house back in Washington that we are renting out.  I got an email early this morning saying they (the renters) were having trouble getting the heat to come on.  Turns out it was just a light switch that needed to be flipped up.  I was convinced we were going to have to buy a new furnace.  (That still could happen so I will knock on wood.)

7. Thinking that I made someone mad at me.  I am very sensitive to people's moods.  So if someone is having a bad day I automatically think it has to do with me.  (Because it is ALL about ME, right?)  This true for hubby too.  I start feeling bad about something I didn't know I did or didn't do- just based on his bad mood or if he is too quiet.

8. When I have a wardrobe mishap- just before I am about to go somewhere.  I had a beautiful silk dress I bought at Macy's before we came here.  I meant to wear it to the Khaki Ball.  I should have taken it to the cleaners to steam out the wrinkles for me.  I tried ironing the day of the event- only to get a huge water spot on it.  So I had to wear something else.  I was so distraught that I didn't even want to go the event- even though I was the one who insisted Hubby get us tickets.  (I did have a good time that night inspite of myself.)

9. When my computer acts up on me.  This applies to technology in general.  I get so upset thinking about all the money spent- only to have the damn thing not work. GRRRR

10. MOVING.  It is stressful- that is a given.  But so many aspects of it just send me on a whirlwind of freak-outs.  Read my posts about getting a passport- there is a good example.  My co-workers got to see me freak out every time I called those damn people in the passport office.  I was completely over the top freaked out that I wasn't going to get a passport- therefore not be able to move to Japan- therefore not be able to see Hubby for a long long time.  DOUBLE GRRRR

I think that is it, it should be, well maybe I could add a few more things, or a lot more...  I told you I am high-strung didn't I?

What freaks you out?