Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tired of being the "bad guy"

I want my mommy!  I want my husband!  I want a spa day! 

I think the third one I might be able to do- at least a pedicure? 

I have had an amazing/exhausting/frustrating week.  I am surprised I am still able to sit upright and type.  Why you ask?...

Amazing- I got to meet and work with some awesome Navy wives through Compass this week.  While I did do some teaching and feel like the participants learned something from me- I learned so much from them and the other Compass Mentors.  If you are a Navy wife and haven't done the course yet- DO IT!!  (and I say this in hopes you have a Compass team at your duty station.)

Exhausting- Compass, school, errands, Compass, school, errands, kids, kids, kids, kids (get it?)

Frustrating- I hate being the bad guy all of the time.  I feel like I am still at the same place with Brother.  I thought there was an improvement way back when with school.  It feels like 2 steps forward and 1.999 steps back.  We still have the same issues with school, only now he is pre-pubescent.  And as you can imagine [insert sarcastic tone here]- that is just a whole lot of FUN! 

He IS a good kid.  He doesn't get into trouble at school, doesn't fight, doesn't swear in front of adults (as I have seen other kids his age do.)  He is generally is a good and respectful child.  But getting him to care just a little about doing his work, completing his work, and the quality of his work- that is like trying to push a Mac Truck up a hill in San Fransisco.  He pushes back when I push him- and he pushes hard (not literally, mind you.)

I feel for him, he has a lot going on.  His hormones are starting to act up, he is growing like crazy (so he is having growing pains), and his dad is deployed.  It is an emotional rollercoaster- one that I am not handling so well. 

The other frustrating part is that I can't share this with Hubby.  He is deployed and needs to be able to focus on his job.  If he knew how frustrated Brother and I are right now- he would then be worried over something he can't do anything about right now.  And if he is worried about home, then he can't have that focus he needs.

I have seen other milspouses discuss what should and shouldn't be shared when our service member is deployed.  It is really hard when your spouse is the one you usually share everything with.  I do share certain things- and he knows these are things that I can handle (and I usually can.)  But the whole getting homework done and helping with studying for the spelling test.  Well- he can't do that where he is at. 

Back to the topic- I am just tired of being the bad guy.  I am so ready for Hubsie to come home and take over!  Well- the control freak in me doesn't really want him to completely take over.  But you know what I mean!

Thanks for listening, I feel better now...


  1. Poor Thing! Hang in there. I've been there and it is TOUGH! (My hubs is currently in Afghanistan but our kids are grown and in college... (but believe me... there are still things! lol)

    My husband and I have an agreement... we don't lie. If he asks about something, I tell him. Regardless about how I think it will affect him. And vice versa. It works well for us and allows us to control what we are willing to open ourselves up for. For instance, all the things going on in Afghanistan right now have me a little worried about the hubs, but I don't really want to know what specifically he is or isn't exposed to. So I don't ask, and he doesn't tell. If I ask, I know he will be honest with me (within the bounds of what he is allowed to say) and not sugar coat something. The same goes for him. If he wants to know how one of our kids is dealing with something, he will ask. If not, he assumes I have everything under control. (ie, our daughter signing up for a study abroad program that will take her to Egypt for 3 weeks... Yikes! I think his head might explode! lol)

    It sounds odd, I admit, but it really works for us.

    Hang in there! I have 2 wonderful children who made it through many, many deployments and a very solid marriage as proof... military parenting is tough, but it can work! :D

  2. Thank you!!! That is so what I needed to hear, you made my day.
    I think that is an excellent agreement you have, something to think about discussing with my spouse.


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