Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Oh Brother...

This time last year Hubby and I had a conference with Brother's teacher.  We found out that he was was not turning in his homework and basically had all Fs at that time.  It took a lot of grounding and other rewards and punishments before he turned around and changed his tune.  He even made the honor roll later that year. 
So you can imagine the deja vu I felt when Brother's teacher asked to talk to us.  Guess what, he is getting all Fs again.  He is not turning in assignments and not doing his homework.  I should have seen it coming really.  I never saw him bring anything home.  I didn't understand why my 2nd grader had more homework than my 5th grader. 
In reality I think poor Brother is just lost in the big 5th grade world he has encountered.  It is a new school, new country and a new ball game.  He is naturally shy and very reserved.  He does not handle change well.  Not one bit.  He started off the school year with stomach aches.  We had to pick him up twice from school because the nurse said he was throwing up.  He has not contracted the flu or any virus- it is his nerves.  And for the record- I don't think he really threw up.  Once he got home he felt better about the time his friends got out of school.  Very convenient eh?
What to do?  I can't be there at school with him to hold his hand.  He has to learn to take initiative- how do you teach that?  The other issue is his self esteem- he is low in that area.  We do what we can to build his self esteem- to take pride in himself and also to stand up for himself.  But it remains a big problem with him.
Honestly the kid does not like school.  He thinks it is "boring" and would rather be out playing.  He does not like to do anything that is "boring" to him- this includes chores at home.  How can I help him to like school and to understand that we all have to work before we play?  I am at such a loss!
Speaking to one of teachers last week I almost started to bawl right in front of her.  I am so stressed out about it all- last week I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame- my back and neck were tied up in a knot.  I can ground him until he is 30- but in the long run that is not going to work.  I have to find a way to motivate him!   Help!!


  1. I have to figure this one out too for my Jake. Let's brainstorm it together.

  2. Oh man! I'm definitely going to take notes with this one, hopefully Ethan doesn't go down this road. I wouldn't even know what to do, do you think it was the move that caused it?

  3. Stacey- if I find something that works besides the threat of taking something away- I will let you know!
    Kristina- I NEVER thought my child would go down that road. I always thought it was the parent's fault when the child doesn't do homework (and I DO feel responsible). But you know you "can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink". I think the move did not help, but can't say he would not be having the same kind of struggles had we stayed where we were. The move just made it more difficult.

  4. For us, it's not just homework. EVERY SINGLE day Jake leaves something at school or forgets to bring something to school or loses something on the bus. He has lost a DS, a jean jacket and a winter coat, not to mention shoes that he only owned for one day. He has lost a cheque I had sent for school fees, brought home his school picture order form a week past the due date and the list goes on. I'm going crazy.


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